I'll Always Remember You

A Matter of Time

Nicki's POV

Is this really what it feels like to be nearing the end?

Rocky's POV

That second week started Nicki's downfall. Slowly she was deteriorating. It was only a matter of time before we wouldn't see her again. Riker and Maddie stayed with us full time now. Maddie was Riley's fill in mother. She was doing just as great as Nicki had. Riker, on the other hand, was an assistant to Nicki and I. If either of us needed anything, he set out to get it.

The doctors couldn't tell us what was wrong. All they knew was that she was in pain, which was obvious during her fits of screaming. I would just sit there holding her hand, letting small tears slip from my eyes.

Sometimes she got her strength back and lifted herself up to kiss me. These were memories that I could never erase from my head. She comforted me, more than I did her. At nights I would lay with her until she fell asleep, then I would get up and walk downstairs where Maddie and Riker were. Maddie would hold me in a hug and Riker would encourage me. I never wanted them to leave. They were the biggest help.

Amanda and Ross visited once a day. Ross would stay by Nicki's bedside, talking to her, trying to distract her from the pain that she suffered. Amanda stayed with her some, but she helped Maddie with the baby mostly. She was also just as good as Nicki was with Riley. She seemed to take on that role for Nicki. Amanda would always take me aside for a few minutes and hug me, telling me that we could get though this, that she was going to get better. I appreciated the gesture, and her hugs were sweet, but we all knew that it was only a matter of time before Nicki was gone.

On the second day, I brought Riley to Nicki. She was able to find strength and sit up to hold her. I could've sworn that she was good as new again. It was crazy the way she she was able to gather all her strength for that one person.

Ellington also visited. Rydel as well. They would go into Nicki's room together and talk to her. Most of the time I could hear them laughing and telling old stories. Rydel would kick Ellington out and if I listened closely, I could hear them whispering about the care of Riley. Rydel was determined that she would buy all of Riley's clothes, without making me pay her back. Nicki kept rejecting, but Rydel wouldn't have it.

"I wanna be the person that Riley calls up when she's twelve and she needs a first day of school outfit! I wanna help her pick out her prom dress, her wedding dress, everything." Rydel whispered.

"You really don't have to Rydel." Nicki whispered back.

"I want to."

I had to go to the bathroom quickly so that I could cry a little more. So many people were helping. They wouldn't let me go through this alone, but all I wanted was Nicki to stay, I just wanted to take away all of her pain and kiss her and spend the rest of my life with her.

She wasn't going to be there to see Riley start kindergarten, have her first crush, graduate, get married, or have kids. She wasn't going to get to help her daughter find a dress for her wedding day. That would be Rydel. Other women would step into Riley's life. She would never know what it feels like to have a mother.

Mom and Dad came. Mom hugged me tightly and cried with me. So did Dad. They went in to visit Nicki and made promises to her. Mom cried the entire time. She couldn't stop. Nicki cried as well. Stormie had become her mom when her parents died. She hated when Stormie was upset.

Riker had his moments as well. He spent the most time with her besides me. At nights when I went downstairs to talk with them, we would cry together. Even Maddie. None of us were able to handle the pain. We had no idea that you could hurt this much. We could only imagine what Nicki was going through. Nearing the end was hard.

Why can't I die instead?

Nicki's POV

The pain was indescribable. What hurt the most, though, was watching the tears flow from my family members eyes. I could only imagine how I appeared right now. Riley was the only thing keeping me going. Without her, I'm sure that I would have already slipped away. Rydel's promises left me happy. She would have went shopping with us every time anyway. I knew that Riley would be treated like a queen. She would have so many sleepovers in her lifetime that it would be crazy. Everyone loved her, so they would probably pass her around a lot.

I hoped mostly out of all of this, that Rocky would be taken care of too. I hoped that he would find another person that makes him happy. Someone that loved him and Riley just as much as I did.

I just want to stay.