Rewriting Jroths Fuck Ups (CLEXA)

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

A/N: I plan on making this a long ass story. And it is a Clexa based fan fic. So no matter what happens dont worry.

As soon as Clarke left her tent, Lexa felt like bursting into tears but she knew it had to be done. The only way their relationship was going to end up was with Clarke dead. She would not be able to go on if Clarke life was ended just because she loved her. Lexa couldn't risk it no matter how much she loved Clarke. Indra was right, there was no way that see could protect the blonde and save her people. Lexas people needed to come first and this was the only way. If put in the position of choosing between her people and Clarke again, she knew she would not be able to save her people again. She couldn't endanger hundreds of thousands of people for her own happiness.

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After quickly eating dinner before most people arrived Clarke headed back to her tent and got into bed. She couldn't believe that Lexa was being such a dick head. The blonde knew why Lexa had done what she had done, but she just wished that they had have just talked it out. Clarke just lay on her sleeping mat, contemplating the events of the day sobbing to herself.

In reality she knew that she would have to leave Lexa and help her people but she she did not want to acknowledge it. Her relationship with Lexa was just going so well, they loved each other and helped each other carry their heavy burdens. The blonde was just now realizing that it wasn't enough and it wasn't going to last because they were both tied to their people and she hated it.

The blonde lay there for what felt like hours, but in reality was probably only twenty minutes until she heard a knock on the tent post.

"Come in," Clarke called. She stayed in bed as she was expecting it be one of her friends coming home for the night.

When she saw Lexa walk through the tent flaps still in full battle gear but with no war paint. She was utterly beautiful and Clarke loved seeing the side of Lexa that no one else got to see. It broke Clarke heart because this could be the last time she got to see Lexa so vulnerable and unguarded. 

"I'm sleeping," the blonde informed Lexa and then rolled over so her back was facing the brunette. When she didn't hear the brunette leaving she tried to get rid of her again, "go away!" She didn't want to end her relationship so she just tried to ignore the fact that they couldn't stay together.

"Clarke-"

"What do you want?!" Clarke yelled standing up, facing Lexa.

"I just came to apologize for what I did earlier. I understand now that was not the best way to handle the situation." Lexa explained.

"Yeah, no shit." The blonde retorted. Clarke closed her eyes and took a deep breathe. It was finally happening, the moment she had been dreading ever since the war against Azgeda started.

"I can not risk your life or the lives of my people any longer. I would not be able to live with myself if something happened to you, Clarke. What we did at the celebration feast was reckless and stupid, we shouldn't have been so public and open. If word gets out to the wrong people about our relationship, it will put a target on your back-"

"I already have a fucking target on my back!" Clarke burst out, "being with you wont change that." She didnt know why she was arguing, she knew what had to happen.

"If I had to choose between you and my people I wouldn't be able to do what I have to do. I..." A tear dropped down Lexas cheek. It was the first time that Clarke had seen Lexa so vulnerable and emotional.

Clarke understood what Lexa was saying. Clarke knew it too, but she just didnt want to accept the ugly truth. The blonde looked up trying to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. Neither one of the girls wanted to say it out loud so they settled upon an unspoken agreement.

Lexa engulfed Clarke in a warm, loving hug which Clarke returned. The blonde buried her face into the brunettes neck and they stayed in the loving embrace for a long time as neither one of them wanted to let go.

Lexa broke the silence by whispering, "You have to go back to your people after this war and I have to go back to mine."

"I know." Clarke replied simply. The blonde just wanted to enjoy the final moments of being with Lexa.

Clarke pulled back slightly, resting their foreheads together,  "I am going to miss you, Lexa."

"I will miss you too, Clarke." Lexa replied sincerely, kissing the blonde tenderly on the forehead. The brunette turned and made her way to the exit. Just as she was about to pass through the flaps, Raven and Octavia bursted through the tent flaps loudly. 

"Oh hey Le..." she noticed the fresh tears streaming down the commanders face and stopped talking immediately. The commander left the tent before Raven could get another word in. It left both Octavia and Raven speechless, the mighty commander of the twelve clans was crying.

But then they looked to Clarke who was now sitting on her bed roll, had tears rolling down her cheeks and looked completely and utterly dejected. Octavia and Raven went and sat with Clarke, drawing her in for a comforting group hug. Clarke was glad that they didn't ask any questions or say anything. She really was just grateful that even after all the things she had done, they were still there for her.

After about half an hour of just sitting their with her friends comforting her Clarke decided that she just wanted to go to sleep. All of her other friends had come into the tent by then. None of them ever asked questions until she was ready to talk and Clarke was forever grateful for them. It had her think of Lexa and how she would be all alone, she wouldn't have anyone to make sure she was okay or to hug or even confide in. Clarke wished she could be that person but she knew she couldn't anymore and it broke her heart. She loved Lexa. She really, really loved Lexa. But their people had to come first.

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