He Calls Me Harmony

Chapter seven: California Kingbed

Though a kiss was established in place of words of admitted feelings for Joya and I, It is still unsure of our relationship or friendship at hand.

I don't know where we stand.  I'm sure she is as confused as I.

It may seem simple as the alphabet but it isn't. I know part of me wants a relationship where I'm allowed to hold her hand and hug her and maybe even kiss her, But another part tell's me to stay friend's. I feeling I have to make a choice. I know my  choice now.

Joya and I have spent two months of summer together. Over those varied two month's we decided to remain friend's. How might you ask. I broke it to her and she solemnly agreed to stay friend's. Now that I look back at it I was glad I chose to do so seeing that it benefited me in the future. But at that time it felt so wrong. I regretted everyday. But I wouldn't allow myself to ruin our friendship with my own feelings which would put us back at square.  taking us back to the day I kissed Her and told her how I felt and she did the same. sometimes I find myself looking at her in a way that is forbidden in a friendship. I find myself letting my testosterone take over my mind leading me into intimate thoughts of Joya and I. I guess puberty has taken full affect on me though a 19 year old man. But I know to let those thoughts remain just that... thoughts.  Oh and if you are wondering of my skin epilogue, it has become more than just an epilogue.  It has become more so an indefinite problem. As stated before I did find out the reasoning of the unbearable spotting of my skin. Vitiligo. it's a skin disorder passed down from my father's side of the family. It's a curse that was bled upon me by the dammed thing called genetics. I curse science because there is no cure. I have found solace in make up. I was hesitate to try it but found there to be no other option.  Surprisingly the minerals of the bare make up worked wonders soon my spots were untraceable. My mother warned me I can't keep hiding behind make up for long. So I was going to hide for as long as I could. So life has been so far in my favor for the last two month's. for once in my life.

I'm waiting for Joya to come over. She said she really needed to talk to me. oh I guess I forgot to mention. Her parents after long consideration allowed us to stay friend's after a little incident at the park where they found us sleep on the tire swing (we were tired from our early morning meetings at the playground ). So yes our friendship is approved besides the looks from Joya's father, everything is ok in that department.  I hear talking coming from downstairs so I start to feel antsy knowing it's Joya. The Voices get louder as they(My mother and Joya) approach my room door. The knob finally jiggles revealing a beautiful slender Joya in Betty Hollister denim  shorts and a matching Hollister tee. She walks in slowly her bare feet making little patter sounds on the cold wooden tile of my bedroom.  My mother pokes her head through the door smiling. I motion for her politely to leave she does a soft laugh that sounded more life a giggle and closed my door. Joya sits on my single bed while I switch to my beanbag.  she plays with her hand not saying anything. Harmony?... everything ok?,I said standing up and sitting beside her still leaving space between us on my bed.  She shakes her head 'no' and puts both of her hand's to her face. I look at her not knowing what to do. She looks at me with red eye's. "I'm moving ", She sucks in some air through her teeth and begins playing with her fingers again. I look at my poster of Albert Einstein on my wall in front of us.  When?, I said basically to the wall. "I don't know maybe next week.. next month... next year.... Michael I don't know " ,I sit silent for awhile as she does the same. Harmony?,  "Yes? ", I look at her. Look at me Harmony, She slowly looks at me. Do you love me?, She looks at me which I assume is her regular go to facial expression, the look of confusion. "of course I do Michael ", She starts to look somewhere else but I quickly but gently cup her chin and make her look at me. I mean do you Love me?, I thought the emphasis on 'Love' would make her understand. "yes", She said leaning in to my face. I was surprised. Never out of the three time's that we have kissed, has she ever been the one to initiate it. I allow her to have her moment. I wait till our lips connect. This time she also move along with my lips making them seem to sync together. She pulls back slowly. "Do you Love me? ",I smile. Yes I do... I Love you more than my favorite pair of loafers, She giggles. I stand up. Would you Love me through anything?,  She nods seeming a bit unsure. "Yes I would", I'll be right back close your eye's. She giggles and do as I told her. I walk out of my bedroom and into the bathroom across the hall. I walk in and cut the light on and took a wash cloth and wet it with soap and water and took off my shirt after taking a deep breath. I stood there for five minutes taking off my mask that covered the  corps of my skin . When I finished I didn't dare look in the mirror. I quickly cut the light off and walked back to my room. I walk into my room and see Joya sitting patiently on my bed with her eye's closed. I close the door and took my place across the room in front of her. You said you can love me through anything right?, She nods. No matter what?, "Michael I told you I Love You no matter what ",I take in another deep breath. OK...open your eye's, She slowly opens them and looks at me. You think you can still Love this?,I said pointing to my blotchy chest and arm's. She stays silent but stands up and walks towards me. She traces her finger over my blotches on my chest. Then she takes my arm and kisses it. She lifts up my neck and kisses it. Then she makes me look at her and softly kisses my lips. "You are beautiful... that's why I Love you Michael Joseph Jackson ", She said against my lips planting anyways another soft kiss upon them. Her word's make me feel whole. The way she spoke as if making sure I know she speaks of the truth. But her soft gentle kisses are awakening my senses. I look at her and caress her face. You are the same Harmony... that's why I Love You, I hug her waist while she hugs my neck. "God I don't want to leave",babygirl don't worry... wherever you go trust I'll be there, She breaks the hug. "you called me babygirl? ", I smile a little embarrassed. Yes because... that's what you are to me Harmony.. my babygirl, She smiles. "you are making This harder ", I'm sorry, She hugs me again. "Michael?", Yes?, "does this mean we are no longer friend's? ", It's up to you, She starts to walk out the door. "Bye... boyfriend ",I laugh. Bye girlfriend , She smiles and walks out. The one time I'm vulnerable, I'm accepted...

To Be Continued...