He Calls Me Harmony

Chapter eighteen: It's That Falling In Love

Days come and days go as Love takes its course in growth. Nights unfold the once whithery flower that was my heart, and opened it to the possibility of letting someone love me. I know that as Michael's and I love grows, so does feelings. Feelings that are rather more than butterflies. Feelings that are more like longings. I must admit I am scared of these 'feelings'. It is something new to me. I don't know what to do.

When can time tell if one is ready? Whether it's for love, or peace. When can time tell? An ageless question without an answer. It's a factor that I so solemnly ponder. My feelings put me in a void that I cannot seem to find a way out. Not that I wish to, But it's an unexplainable emotion. I have yet to share this with Michael. It's a bit shameful persay. To move onward, my academic life is on a steadily rising steep. I take each day as it comes. During phone conversations when I express this to Michael, he chuckles before responding, "Harmony the world is hard, Nothing good comes easy,Just keep your eye's open and have faith",  I would catch myself smiling through the phone. His word's would continue running through my mind as I go through treachery of pharmasuetical assessments. When I reminist about it, I cannot help but dream of my future. What it beholds. Then that question returns; When can time tell? I am sitting at my terrible excuse for a study desk when my roomate Ashleigh storm's in. I quickly shift my gaze from my textbook to a agiated Ashleigh. She lowly mutters scowls to herself. After a few minutes of watching her silently rant,  I take it upon myself to ask the obvious question. "Ashleigh a-are you ok? ", She stops and shoots a glare at me before sighing and flopping onto her bed. I sigh and decided to try again. "Ashleigh please tell me what's wrong ", I asked standing up to walk towards her. As I inch to her she stares at her hand's. I rub her back as I sat beside her. She slowly lifts her head up. "I'm being expelled ", She choked out. My eye's widen. My initial reaction was to ask why but I see that as of now she needs support. I continue rubbing her back as she let out her tears. Five minutes passed before her sobs turned into sniffles. She stops and looks at me. "You have been the best roomate I have ever had", I return with a warm smile. She stands up and wipes her eye's.  "Well I'm ordered to leave immediently I will write you and explain everything ", I nod. We then began to gather her belongings. I still donot understand her sudden placement mishap, but I can't argue against the rule's.  The next thirty minutes were spent saying goodbyes and watching another friend leave. Which adds to my fear's of having another person dear to me leave. Later that day I ventured into town and found myself on Michael's side. I needed someone to share my thoughts with.

I walk up the slightly rusted stairs. With each step my heart pounds faster. Only Michael seems to make my body react this way. I finally make it to his door. I hesitate before knocking. I still, from time to time find it hard to share my feelings with Michael. Fear's, yes. Feelings is a gateway to my soul. I don't think I'm ready to open that gate. I turn to walk away but the door opens. "Hey Harmony what brings you here?", Michael greeted me. I turn back and give him a nervous smile. "I-I was just stopping by to.. s-say hi", I stuttered aimlessly. He chuckles then responded. "Well hi", He teased. I cheese looking down. Then silence made it's self visible as we stood there gazing at everything but each other. Michael breaks the silence. " You can come in if you want?", I nod. He shifts out of my walk way and gestures for me to enter. I slowly stroll in. I take a place on his small coffe colored love seat. He closes the door and takes a seat in a matching brown recliner beside me. I fiddle with my finger's. Michael let's out a sigh. "Tell me what's on your mind babygirl", The hair's on my neck stand up when he said babygirl. I look up. "M-my roomate was evicted ", I said softly. "I'm sorry to hear that", He said in his infamous soft tone. I sigh again and continue. "Michael I'm scared", I whispered. He seems to hesitate before responding. "Of what? ", "My... My feelings ", He stands up and sits beside me. "What do you mean?", He said staring at me with his eye's softened with concern. I began fiddling with my hand's again. "It's stupid I-", He shakes his hand and takes my hand scooting closer. "Just tell me what's on your mind babygirl ", He intertwines his long slender fingers with my small nimble one. I glance up at him. He has the widest, warmest smile plastered on his face. A smile that told me thing's were fine. "Michael are you scared of change?", "Yes, I'm sure everyone is", "That's what's wrong I'm scared of change, Change in my feelings ", "Feelings about what", I look down at my hands. "Us", I feel his hand tense up in mine.  "It's hard to explain ", I continued. "Well I'm not going to force you to tell me-", "Michael I'm ashamed of my feelings, they aren't just feelings... they are... desires", He furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "What are you trying to tell me? ", I look up at him again. I raise my free hand and caressed his face slowly. He watched me as I slowly leaned into hi face. I wanted to feel his lips against mine. Maybe that could show him. I stop a inch away from his lips. I slowly brush my thumb against his slim pink lips. I could feel his warm breath on my face. I close my eyes as I continue to lean in. Once I finally reached his lips I let out a sigh of satisfaction. As we moved our lips together slightly, my heart rate increased. I was hoping he could hear my heart. I wanted him to hear what he makes me feel.I pull back slowly. Michael continues to stare at me. A silence came over. A beautiful silence of unanswered questions which quite frankly needed no answer.  Michael once again breaks the silence. "Tell me your desires ", He whispered out. His tone was husky. Something I don't recognize. "I want you to love me", I also whispered out. My mind is no longer functioning, my heart is. "How?", His question took me off guard. I do not know how to explain. How can you explain Love?  Is there a manual to loving someone? I place another kiss upon his lips. "Listen to your heart", I whispered against his lips. Michael's breathing pattern instantly changes. I don't know if I'm making a rational decision but in love I know there is no such thing as rationality. Because when you're falling in love nothing is ever rational....

To Be Continued....