He Calls Me Harmony

Chapter thirty three: Sunken Promise

I truly apologize for the long awaited update, I have just recieved my newly fixed laptop and now will be able to write freely. The upside to this, is more frequent updates! I love the freedom of typing on a computer verses other resources. Anyway, here you are Chapter Thirty-three: Sunken Promise. Enjoy, and please don't forget to comment and vote!

Life is a vast road of twist and turns. It is composed of success and failure. One is always laboring on having the ball of life fall in their court, never actually knowing if and what one should do with that ball. With life, one has to first comprehend that days will not always be dark, but they will not always presume light either. Knowing this pertinent knowledge, one must learn the skill of adaptation and settlement. That means adapting to the darkness in order to settle in the light.

Weeks have passed, and I am stuck in the confinement of contemplation. Contemplation on whether or not I should be the barrier of the news. I would like to tell my parents, but I am very afraid. I would love to tell Michael, but I am unsure. I reiterate, when the ball of life is in one's court, it is a burden to differentiate the next move. With the array of possibilities and the over-weigh of consequences, my mind is boggled and steadily trotting along my train of thought. Every passing minute, gifts a new problem and new thought. Should I or should I not, is the main query.

 I ignore the temptation I feel to belt to the world of my frustration, because I am well aware the world will not understand. My antagonist is rejection, and I must face my probability of rejection. Like the cowardly lion of the Great Wizard of Oz movie, I have to find my strength, and face the music.

 "Good morning pancakes.” mother greets me warmly, in her usual sing song voice.

Giving her a small smile, I merely whisper an awkward hello. Not taking a liking of my dry tone, mother enthuses another greeting. "I said hello pancakes. ", Knowing my mother will not be satisfied until I have responded 'properly', I force a smile and turn away from my bedding.”Hello and good morning mother," I falsely chirp. Still bothered and seemingly seeing through my act, she shakes her head and takes a spot on my skillfully stitched, lavender comforter. "Sit," She commands watching my regretted expression. "What is bothering you? You are not yourself," She analyzes as I sit down.

 I inhale deeply and look into her almond eyes, which are softened with a concern only a mother can display. I want to tell her, but I am afraid, afraid of the shame and judgment. "Honey, if there is something that I can help you with, and then let me help you," She encourages, placing her hand on mine. I inhale deeply and prepare to spill to her. "Promise, promise not to judge me or scold me," I whisper. Her expression becomes more concerned as she listens to my next statement.

 "I-I do not know what to do. I am scared. Please tell me what to do," I gripe, childishly laying my head in her lap. Mutinously, she falls silent, stroking my hair instantly, and causing me to tense up. I had a feeling she would react in more raging way, than actually falling silent. Her silence hurts more than anything. I do not wish for her to think of me other than her little girl.

"Joya?"

"Yes?"

 Slowly lifting my head from her lap, she locks her eyes with mine. "I want you to know I love you. I love you so much my little Joya. I can never hate you for your decisions. Am I disappointed, slightly...? But, I trust you. In whatever decision you make, I support you. I do advise you to tell Michael. He deserves to know.” She concludes, pecking my forehead. Taken a back still by her response, I question her. "Are you mad?” She giggles lightly, patting my thigh softly. "Sweetie, you are a growing woman. I cannot be angry at this little scare. Like I said, I trust you pancake.”