Marriage with 'The Beast'

Chapter 18 - Jewel's Treasure Orphanage

We eventually ate dinner properly. It was actually better than expected and after an hour of the yacht just moving slowly on the mysterious dark abyss under, we circled back to the pier. Vanessa and Tyson were standing there tentatively watching us. Probably trying to read whether or not they should make a run for it.
Mason helped me off the boat, and I walked right past Vanessa, not acknowledging her.

When we got back to the suite, everyone was still ridiculously quiet. I walked straight to our room and changed. Hurriedly braiding my hair to keep it from getting all knotted up. By the time Vanessa walked in and starting shuffling around, I was already in bed. It wasn't even nine yet, but I didn't care. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts.

Did I make the right decision by starting over with Mason? I decided to organize the situation by comparing the rights and the wrongs.

Wrong, he acted disgustingly in the office.
But he thought I was there to flirt. Like the assistant, that was fired before me. Still wrong, though. But I did slap him, twice.

Wrong. to abduct me and take me to his guesthouse.

But it was initially just to show me how hurt he was with me ditching him last minute the night before.

Wrong, to take me to the forest.

But he wasn't actually going to leave me there. But he did make a stupid joke about it.

But I did punch him.

Wrong, to throw me in the room of predators.

But he didn't know that they were predators. That was Clarke's fault actually and I'd thought that he was saving me. Plus Mason didn't actually leave me there.

Then he helped me on the mountain when my foot was bleeding.

And he cared about me when I was sick even after I yelled at him.

There were far too may "buts" to justify the wrongs. They seemed to sound more like rights.

I pulled out my phone which I hadn't turned on for the past two days. My brain couldn't take what was right and what was wrong. Was I just making excuses up for all those wrongs just because I was attracted to him? Or was he actually right, and does deserve another chance?

I plugged in my earphones and shuffled my playlist. I heard the lyrics,

"We keep behind closed doors
Every time I see you, I die a little more
Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls
It'll never be enough
It's obvious you're meant for me
Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly
Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep
But I'll never show it on my face"

Why is that? When everything feels right, why do we suffer?

When I feel good with Mason, why do I repress my feelings? Why am I held up on little wrongs in the past when I could be focusing on the many rights in the future?

Everything seemed to click into place a little. I did make the right decision by giving him a chance. If he genuinely wants to try, then why should I stop him? Why don't I try?

I felt a great weight lift off my shoulders and a boost of energy. The first thing I wanted to do was tell Vanessa. I stopped myself, I was supposed to be upset with her because even though she had right intentions, it was the first time she'd ever lied to me.

The first time she'd lied to me.

I was lying to her, though. I didn't tell her anything and I lied to her when she asked if everything was okay. I lied to her so easily, and she did this for me.