Five hours later, I was still lying in the cursed bed, with IVs in my arm. I clenched my jaw as my eyes went over the picture of Jacob. Suddenly, a powerful burst of fury hit me, and the picture frame was snapped in half. Suddenly the ghost of Christmas Past came to me and said,
"You have made bad decisions in your life. Fix your mistakes or you'll be trapped forever in chains."
"Get out of here!" I screamed and farted until it flew away out the window. I ripped out all the IV cords in me and jumped out of the bed. A nurse came running in, but I had no time for this. I grabbed her ponytail, swung her around, and stuffed her down Matthew's pants. I opened my mouth and breathed out fire in my fury.
"One year has only taught me that Jacob Sartorius MUST BE STOPPED! He must be destroyed, no matter the cost!" I screamed. I stuffed a burrito into my mouth and used my farting powers to fly out of the room.
I landed right on Jacob Sartorius's house that had been repaired from the explosion of last year. I crawled like a savage ninja and hung upside down to look inside Jacob's room.
He was sitting down on his bed, crying into his shirt. He held a picture of me in his hands. I gagged. What was going on?
"Wiffer II, I never told this to anyone, but I LOVE EMMA!" he told his new dog. He farted and the dog cringed away. "Omg I'm sorry, I didn't know your'e hungry!" He grabbed a bowl that had a mixture of onions, eggplant, bitter olives, rotten oranges, spoiled milk, and Tootsie Rolls. He sprayed it with his cologne and tried to stuff a spoonful into the dog's mouth. The stench made tears come to my eyes, and I dropped down onto the grass below. I was so fat that I made a 10 mile deep sinkhole.
When I got out, I brushed off my hospital gown and crawled up the brick walls of Jacob's house. He was sobbing into his now dead dog's body. I crashed into the window and he gasped.
"Emma, my love!" he shouted. I went up to him and grabbed his head and snapped his neck in half. His eyes lolled in his eye sockets. I checked for a pulse. Nothing. I put my hands on my hips and waited for his resurrection. Finally, his head snapped back up and he smiled. I gasped in shock.
"Emma, will you marry me?" Jacob said and got on one knee. I cawed and my trusty raven came to my shoulder and started pulling Jacob's hair with its sharp beak.
"Owwwwwww" he cried. I grinned. "So does this mean yes?" he asked hopefully.
"Of course!" I said and he slipped the ring on to my finger. It was a huge diamond. I instantly started to calculate how much money I could get from selling it.
"Okay, let's make this official. Emma...uhhh I don't know your last name, but will you marry me?"
"Of course!" I said with an evil smile. Jacob winced as the raven continued to chew on his big hair. And I was engaged at the age of 15.
~~~
"Yes, sir! Five carat diamond ring, right there. I'm asking $300,000 on this!" I exclaimed to the guy behind the counter of the jewelry store as he looked at my engagement ring.
"And how did a young girl like you get a hold of a ring like this?" The old man looked at me over his spectacles.
"Ummmm my fiancé gave it to me, of course!" I said loudly.
"Poor guy. He gave this to you, and you're selling it? Be careful, girl, or he won't marry you if you do this," the old man warned.
"HA! I'm not marrying him! Now will you give me the money or not?" I asked.
"Fine. I'm offering 298,000 on this. Take it or leave it," he said as he inspected the ring.
"Fine," I said and he gave me $298,000 in nickels. I stuffed them into my back pockets and strolled away.
