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any way.. the story///
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"Oh my God! This is the best ketchup I've ever tasted!" Jacob screamed and drained the rest of the farting medicine. He pulled out a pack of fries from his pocket and slid it across the edge of the bottle to get any medicine left.
"Jacob, that's farting medicine! You'll never fart again! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" I shook his shoulders crazily. He raised an eyebrow and said,
"Boi, you thought medicine would take away my powers? HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!" He picked up the stove and stuffed it back into his mouth then pulled out his phone and took a selfie.
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"Just ate a stove! Special stove recipe down below!" was the caption.
I fell to my knees and screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I quickly jumped to my feet again and grabbed his eyebrows. Oh wait, I just realized he has none. So I cut off my armpit hair and glued it to where his eyebrows should be, then ripped it off.
"NOOOOO! My new eyebrows! :(" He grabbed my hair. But wait, I have none because I shaved it off on my wedding day!
"You have to nothing to grab! So come fight me!" I raised my fists and took a battle stance with a wide grin.
Jacob ripped off his sleeves and flexed his arms.
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"BOI!" I shouted and grabbed his "bicep." I snapped it in half with no effort. He sobbed and bowed down to me.
"I'm sorry," he sobbed.
"Kiss my feet, you filthy animal," I said with a sneer. I saw his ugly face and knew this was the perfect opportunity to publicly humiliate him. So I whipped out my camera and snapped a picture, then posted it on all social media websites ever made.
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I instantly got 100 million likes on Instagram, and one billion on Facebook.
"Give me your phone!" I shouted and he flung it at me. I posted a picture of his pathetic face and posted it on his own accounts.
#kidnappedbymywife
The replies were HILARIOUS!
HEY!!! STOP TORTURING MY HUSBAND YOU POTATO!
My reply was: He's literally my husband.
WTH! STOP IT! I LOVE HIM AND HOW WILL HE MAKE HIS NEXT SONG IF HE'S DEAD??????
NOOOOOO!!!!!
JACOB BBY I LUV YOU!!!
OMG JACOB PLEASE REPLY!!!
JACOB YOUR HAIR GIVES ME LIFE!
When you listen to Jacob's songs.
JACOB!!! I'M GONNA KILL WHOEVER DID THIS!!!
OMG JACOB ARE YOU OK?
NO WAY!!! ARE YOU KIDNAPPED?????? BY WHO???? BLINK THREE TIMES IF YOU ARE DEAD!
JACOB, NINE DAYS UNTIL I GET TO SEE YOU!!! DONT WORRY IM SAD ITS TAKING SO LONG TOO! :(
HEY EVERYONE, ITS JACOB IF YOU WANNA CALL ME CALL 1800-KYS-666
