I farted again, trying to break the cell open, but no luck.
"ITS FART PROOF," A guard screamed from outside of the cell.
"I WANT A LAWYER!" I yelled, shaking the cell.
"Yo-," Before the guard could continue, another one came and unlocked the gate for me.
"Why are you letting me go?" I asked, shocked.
"Your so called husband, paid all his money he made from his new song 'Last Text' to get you out." He mumbled. I got out smiling in joy. As I opened the front doors of the prison, I saw Jacob in front of me, with a weak smile.
"I got you out," he whispered.
"Ya, but you also got me in their. I DECLARE A DIVORCE!" I farted in agony.
"No Emma, No, please, I love you, we could fart our ways to a huge mansion I'll buy us, I'll pay everything for us. Do anything you desire, If you agree and stay with me," he begged.
I stroked my invisible majestic beard once again think of the pros and cons. A pro is that I can take money from him, because is rich. I can make him do whatever I want, and I can also be with him more, which will result in more chances of me killing him. Now, the cons; he is a disgusting fart. His voice makes my ears bleed. He is ugly and his eyebrows are non existing.
'I can tell him what to do so I can handle him.' I thought.
"Fine," I sighed.
"YESSSS," he screamed. "NOW I AM GOING TO BUY US A HUGE HOUSE MY LOVE." He said as he farted and blasted in the air.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH, That stupid elf thinks I like him, MWAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
~~
I went to the address he texted me. I went there and saw a huge field, a huge empty field.
"Jacob, there is nothing here," I said.
"Not yet," He said as he reached in his pocket and pulled out a huge house.
"All out cloths and shoes and food are already in there,WAIT," he screamed as he reached in his pocket once again. He threw a huge, underground pool on the floor. "Done my love."
I cringed at the pet name as I walked inside the house. I sat on the couch and turned on the T.V. Jacob sat next to me; like really close. I scooted away, as he came near me again. He placed his lips on mine; they were chapped and nasty and ju-, I threw up in his mouth and continued to barf until the whole house was filled. Jacob swam through it and pressed a button that was attached to the wall. It made the whole house cleaner than before.
"Why'd you throw up My love?"
"Jacob, I mean look at your lips," I said as I held up a mirror to his face,
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I gagged just looking at them. He looked down, so sad. Ehh.
"How'd the button clean up the house?" I asked.
"Well, I bought a house that had a self cleaning button so My Love won't have to clean up and become tired."he said smiling.
"Give me 500 dollars I need to go buy something," I said holding out my hand for money. He grabbed the money from his pocket, I took it and walked out.
I just need to find something to kill him with. Killing him myself never works out. SO I have to think of something quick.
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Short update
Guys, this chapter was nasty to write bcoz of the lip part but ehh
