Flowers for Me

Lifesaver

Isn't it a little sad?

When you find yourself down that same road that you went down before.

And you know what's going to happen but you couldn't care less?

Because maybe in some part of your mind there's a part of you that says "things will be different this time."

And for the most part you know that's nothing  but a lie but maybe a small part of you believes that it could be true. 

That maybe things will turn out differently and you'll  finally get the ending you wanted. Things will be the way you imagined.

But in reality you know the chances of getting hurt are greater because you've been down this road before. So what's going to be different? You've changed a bit to try and make things work but they still stay the same and that's the reason that you keep crashing harder and harder each time. And that's when you realized.

You have an addiction problem.

You're addicted to them. To getting a response out of them. To try and get a friendship out of them. To make things work between the two of you when you know it's probably hopeless. Because what could actually change?

How much you need them.

Because it gets worse with each little text that you send them because soon you'll have to become dependent on them. You won't be able to live without feeding their ego. You keep trying and trying to make things work but they don't want to put in as much effort as you. They are the lifesaver keeping you afloat in a sea you can't navigate because you haven't learned to swim without them.

So maybe it's time you let go. Learn to swim without that lifesaver. Without them. Take that risk. Cause the outcome could be even better than the first you took with that person just by saying "hi."