Flowers for Me

So Badly

I want to text you.

So so badly.

It takes everything in me to not hit send.

And it hurts.

Because it's the fear that's holding me back.

What if you leave me on read?

What if you block me? Again.

You've done so much to me to make me distrust you.

And yet I still want to text you.

This all started with such a simple "thank you" text and now I've spiraled out of control.

How did you do this to me?

How did you possess me?

How did you take control of me.

That's what I want to know more than anything.

Did you post that picture to spite me?

Did you just want to put it on your story?

We're just getting familiar again,

And I want to be friends again.

I want to be as close as we were back then. 

I want that more than anything.

But I'm scared.

I'm scared we'll end before then.

And I'm scared I'll lose you again.

Because honestly?

It hurts like hell each time you leave.

It hurts so badly.

And I can only take so much,

before I break again.