Clandestine (Calum Hood)

20. Past habits

Amelias Pov

My mind was racing, my tears were all over the place.

Calum inched closer and reached out his hand but I backed away. "Don't."

"Amelia," he whispered.

"I said don't. Just don't! You lied to me.. all of you, lied! I don't even know what's real anymore."

He snatched my hand and forcefully put it up to his chest. "This. This is real."

I left my hand there for a second, loving the feeling of being loved. But I was so angry. I removed my hand. "Why wouldn't you all just tell me the truth from the start.."

Luke spoke, "The doctor said that it would have confused you and possibly drive you crazy, make you insane. It was better to let you do it on your own."

"Does- does Retaj know..?"

"No. When you moved you were just the new girl like everyone else. They all thought you just switched schools, but you moved from Sydney."

"How could I not know this?"

"Your parents- godparents.. they put all this stuff in your head and the next day, you just believed it. lived it. Their stories were all you knew."

"How do you two know all this."

Luke looked at Calum and he looked up. "I called every day.. sometimes twice a day. to see how you were. Eventually they told me to stop calling."

"I don't, I .. I can't believe any of this."

"Its okay, it'll take time to process.."

"I need to be alone."

"Amelia please-"

"I want to be alone Calum. Alone."

Luke gently took Calums arm and turned him towards the door and he walked away.

When they left I had this urge. Not a good one.

I looked at my arms and saw faded scars. My ..godparents always told me we use to have an aggressive cat. But looking at them I knew that wasn't the case.

I use to cut.

I put my finger over the scars slowly, each scar made me cringe and brought a blurred flashback threw my mind.

I walked into the kitchen and I slid onto the floor with my back against the wall. I screamed. I couldn't stop screaming. It felt so good to scream all the pain out.

I was clutching onto my wrist. Yelling at the top of my lungs tears all over. my nail was digging into my skin and the pain felt good. I looked all around for something sharp.

I lifted my hand up on the counter and felt a knife. My fingers struggled to grab it when a hard grip clutched onto my wrist of the hand that was reaching for it.

The aggressive touch made me stop. My body immediately relaxed and the tears stopped.

the hand let go and he walked to the side and kneeled down next to me, he was crying.

"Calum." I cried.

He grabbed my wrists gently and kissed each faded scar one by one. "Don't do this. Not again. Ever. Do you promise me?"

I nodded. "Yes Calum, yes.."

"Amelia." he whispered. "Please let me kiss you."

I nodded slowly.

he leaned in still holding my wrists like a feather.

he stopped his face half an inch from mine and I felt his warm breath on my lips. he moved closer and his lips pressed lightly on mine.

He leaned back and looked at me.

I leaped forward embracing him into a hug.

he held me and gave me kisses on my head until I slowly fell into a long sleep.

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SORRY SORRY SORRY FOR THE WAIT I'M STRESSED WITH FINALS BUT HERE YOU GO ILY ALL SO MUCH xx