To be or not to be........a Cougar

Ch 50 ..... Before I let you go, can I get a kiss goodnight?

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Jocelyn's POV

I can't do this any more. I just can't. I'm ending this now and I'm leaving. I just need to see Domnic to explain that this is for the best. With whatever the hell is or what did go on between my father and Mrs. Sanders, I don't think that I really want to know. I'm sure that Domnic may feel the same. And I am tired. Tired of looking over my shoulders for Marcus. Tired of keeping my feelings and relationship a secret from crazy people because of a fucking takeover or they have some crazy ass obsession of me. How can one function with all this drama type of shit going on all the time. I need a break from all of this. I need to get away and start of with something new. I don't even want to get involved with anyone in fear that Marcus would find me and possible kill the poor man. The only way I'd stay is if Marcus was arrested with no parole. Since it doesn't look like that's happening anytime soon, I'm glad that I accepted that teachers position in Atlanta. I've just finished up this Galla and did all of the needed paperwork and ordering, even up to the one for the New Years Eve ball was done. Though I didn't get to stay till the end of tonight's Galla, Lacey called to give me the good news.

Since November just started, Domnic will still have a chance to find someone to take my place. I know that he don't want to do it but what kind of life could we have if we're constantly being harassed by Marcus? The Alex issue isn't all that bad. All Domnic has to do is just marry someone that his family would approve of. I wonder about Mrs. Sanders' sweet as pie assistant, Lacey. I know that he won't want to hear it, but I will try to suggest it to Domnic when he gets here. Where is he? I hope that he took the cab instead of driving his car. With Marcus in town, I don't want to drive my own shit.

I know that when I tell him that it's for the best that we end this, he will be hurt and upset. But we can't go on like this. One day.....one day when it's all said and done, Domnic will be happy. And that is all I want for him.

Looking for a pen and some paper, I've decided to write him a letter. I have a feeling that if I talked, He would have enough time to think of something to convince me to stay. I can't let that happen, so a letter it is........

Domnic,

I know that by the time you finish reading this, you will be upset and hurt but....this is for the best. I love you, but due to my love for you, you are in danger. Not only you but my parents as well. I know that you and your family want me to just go to the police, but with no proof of anything, with only my word against his, won't work. Because of this man, I have more unseen emotional scars than a woman should have to bare and after losing our child, I refuse to lose you too. And if this world should lose a beautiful man because of me, then I'm no better than Marcus. Like the saying goes......If you love something, then let it go. And that's what I have to do. I'd rather hear of you being alive and well with another woman and kids then to store a news clipping of your obituary. Please know that I truly love you and that I have to do what I'm about to do in order to protect those that I love and those that I have come to care for deeply. Knowing that this letter may cause you to hate me, I pray that one day you will forgive me. I love you, Domnic....please move on with your life.

Always and Forever

Jocelyn

Just as I folded and placed the letter on the table and walked over to look at the view of the city, I heard some keys at the door. Sighing deeply when he walked in, I thought of all the times that we made love. No man could or will ever make me feel as complete as I feel whenever he touches me. I just need to talk to him without looking into his eyes. I'd agree to just about anything if I look into his eyes.

Domnic POV

As the elevator made it to the roof and I put in the code, I got a bad feeling about this. I walked in our room to find Jocelyn staring out the huge window in deep thought. She didn't even notice that I opened and closed the door. This is really not good. I just hope that she don't do what I think she's gonna do. I walked up behind her and she jumped a little when I wrapped my arms around her waist.

"A penny for your thoughts." I whispered, knowing that I really didn't want to hear what she was about to say. She just sighed and laid her head back on my shoulder. "I know that tonight was crazy and all but we can get through this. I know we can baby. Drake has some reports on this case concerning Marcus and Alex. All we need is a little more time." I said, hoping that she'll give us a little more time. "Domnic, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to promise me that you'll at least give it a chance, like I promised to give you a chance in that V.I.P. room. Will you promise to do it for me? Promise to at least give it a chance? Promise me, before I ask you...." she tried to say but started to cry on the last part. I knew that if I promised her whatever she had planned, that it would literally kill me. But I could never take it when she had tears. Going against my better judgement, I promised her. "I promise. I promise to at least give it a fair chance if it will ease the pain I hear in your voice and stop the tears from falling from your gorgeous eyes." I said as I gripped her waist tighter and kissed her exposed shoulder and neck. She gasped then sighed deeply. "Lacey Morgan, your mothers assistant. She's a nice girl isn't she?" she asked. I don't think I like where this is going. "Yes. She's a nice girl. What about her, Thickness?" I asked, and I noticed that she cringed when I said her nickname. "She's....pretty. Don't you think? And I think she's single too. I need you to promise me that you will approach her, ask her out on a couple of dates. See if you could get her to fall in love with you. It shouldn't be hard. You still have some time to fall in love with a nice girl and marry. Before I go, I need you to promise me that you will give her a chance." she said as more tears fell.

What she was asking me to do was killing me. I can't do it. Hell, I won't do it. Getting up enough courage to actually say no to the woman I love, she turns to look me directly in the eyes and said, "Please......promise me." With tears falling from my own eyes, I broke and promised her. "I promise. You know, I'd never thought I'd say this. But, before I let you go, can I get a kiss goodnight, Thickness."

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Sniff.....sniff.......sniff. Are you guys crying too? The last thing he said to her is actually a name of a song. For those who hasn't heard it, listen to the attached video if you want.......

We're nearing the end guys........

~~~~~~~SMOOCHES~~~~~~~~