Don't Hold Your Breath

Chapter Fourteen

I woke up to the sound of rocks being pelted against my window. 

Seriously. Tiny pebbles were being flung against the glass, pelting off on contact. I rubbed my eyes and looked around, confused. I rolled out of bed and walked over to the window, squinting to see in the bright morning light. Jason stood below me on the driveway, his hands filled with rocks. He was already up and dressed in a pair of jeans and a loose fitting army jacket. Seeing me in the window, his face spread into a grin. 

I backed away from the window quickly, knowing I looked like Medusa in the morning- no joke.Even if it was Jason, I couldn't stand looking like my former self. I quickly braided my hair loosely and then reappeared in the window. Jason's look of confusion vanished. I yanked the window open and leaned out, crossing my arms. 

"Whaddaya want, Jason?" I hollered across the lawn. 

He looked up at me, smiling even though I'd just yelled at him without so much as a hello. 

"Come down and take a walk with me," he said, somehow managing to sound loud without resortign to yelling at me. 

"And you think I'd do that.... why?!" I shouted. 

"You have to give me a chance, Alyssa," he said, looking me straight in the eye. 

I looked him up and down, biting my lip hesitantly. He sensed my reluctance and called again,"Please. It wouldn't hurt you, would it?" 

He was right, I guessed. "Fine. You get fifteen minutes, nothing more," I said, giving in. "You don't deserve anything else." I slammed the window shut before he could answer me. I tridged over to my closet and yanked on my favorite hoodie- well actually, Ethan's hoodie. He'd given it to me years ago, and I still kept it for some reason. I smiled to myself as I pulled the old blue hoodie on over my head, its soft fabric familiar to me. I grabbed my Uggs and tucked my loose grey sweatpants in the bottom and quietly shut the door behind me as I left my room. 

I snuck downstairs and down the the front lawn, where Jason stood waiting in the long driveway. He smiled as I neared him.

"Hey," he said softly, looking me up and down. His eyes lingered on my clearly borrowed boy's sweatshirt, but suprisingly, he said nothing.

I nodded briefly to him in return. "Where we going?" I asked. 

"Just around. Never really looked around the property," he said, looking around at the faintly lit yard. 

"Okay," I said, starting off at a walk. "So why'd you want me to come with you?" 

"Never talked to you, really," he said. "You're right, you know." 

"Right? About what?" I asked, confused. 

"I don't deserve you. I don't even deserve you walking with me," he said, looking me straight in the eyes. 

I quickly dropped my gaze to the ground. We walked in silence for a bit, and thoughts and questions and smart remarks swirled through my mind, but only one came out. 

"I was so stupid," I said, shaking my head. 

"What?" he said, confused. 

"I thought you would be different with me. I thought you would be different than what the stories usually predicted. I thought I'd be your princess, and I'd get this great fairy tale of a life. I thought that things would get better, for a split second. And I will hate myself for it. Because I was weak. And the world does not need weak people," I said softly, scuffing my feet on the ground. "I honestly believed that something would be different." 

"But I wasn't a princess. I lived this horror story. I was weak. I believed. I was naive. But I never really had a chance, and it was my mistake. I should've known that my life wasn't gonna end up this great Hollywood movie, or a fairy tale. It's real life," I added quietly.