Robbers // Matty Healy

Chapter 13

2 weeks later.

Everything was going smooth with Matty. No drama, no fights, nothing. We've gotten pretty serious lately. I don't know, just thinking about him makes me jittery. I used to hate watching sappy couples walk around and be all gross, but I get it. Having someone care about you, someone love you for you is the best feeling in the world. Everything is surreal. Finally my reality is better than my dreams. For once, I feel like I don't have to constantly worry about anything. It's overwhelming really.

I needed to get ready to go see Matty at the record shop. I quit my job last week because it was just too stressful. Today's Friday, so luckily I don't have to attend my online class sessions tomorrow. It was already 4:30 and I needed to be there at 5.

I threw on a sweater, grabbed my keys and left to the record shop. I like walking over to the shop because it's relaxing. I fortunately live in the nice part of LA so it's literally a walk through the park to the shop.

"Hey, Matty's ex-girlfriend right?" I tall, brunette ran over to me.

"Um, I'm actually still with him," I said, "what made you think we weren't together? Not to sound rude, I just- yeah." I realized I was talking too much.

"Wait," she paused, "oops."

"What?"

"It's nothing, a total mistake, I'm sorry." She began walking away but I called after her.

"Wait!" I called out, "what is it?"

"So a few weeks ago, you guys were together still?" She asked with a sympathetic look on her face.

"We never broke up," I said.

"He was drunk at a party, so was I, and" she held for another awkward pause.

"And?"

"We sort of hooked up- look he came on to me, he called me "Alex", im assuming that's you? He came onto me, you look like a nice girl. I'm sorry." She said and walked away.

I was speechless. I didn't know what to do. Luke was right. My mom was right. I didn't know whether to go to the record shop and confront him, or completely ignore him. I decided to call Luke, he was my only real friend here.

"Luke?" My voice was shaky.

"Lex, what's wrong? Where are you?" He asked

"You were right," I began, "when I was gone for that week, he-"

"Where are you? I'll come get you," he said, I could hear him getting his keys.

"At the park, I'm walking back to mine, can you meet me there?" I started walking back, fast.

"Yeah, be there in 5?"

"Ok." I hung up and picked up my dragging feet and nearly ran home. All I wanted to do was absolutely nothing. I felt no emotion whatsoever. I didn't know how to feel. I wasn't angry. I wasn't anything. I just felt like crying.

I got home, shut off my phone and waited for Luke. I needed a friend, someone to talk to. I didn't even know if there was anything to talk about, I just needed to talk. My head felt like it was pounding, it was too hot, my anxiety started to kick in. I could tell things were going down from here.

There was knocking on my door, it was Luke.

"Hey, come here." He said, pulling me into a hug, "What did he do?"

"A girl came up to me and basically said they hooked up at a party." I said, "please don't give me the 'I told you so' speech. Please."

"I'm not, don't worry. Are you mad? You don't seem mad."

"I guess I haven't fully grasped the situation yet, I don't know. I'm done anyways." I said.

"With him?"

"Yeah," I sighed, "I need a friend right now, please don't assume anything else."

"I know," he smiled, "what do you want to do?"

"Nothing." I replied.

"Why don't we order pizza and watch movies, like old times, yeah? Just friends, I understand." He offered.

"I kind of want to be alone tonight."

"I'm not leaving you like this."

"Fine" I half smiled, "I'm gunna go change ok?" I walked to my room and got out a pair of cotton shorts and a random black tshirt. As I was putting on the shirt, I realized it was Matty's. I immediately took it off and settled for a crew neck. I sat on my bed for at least 10 minutes, staring at this shirt. How could he do this to me? I threw his shirt across the room and went back out to the living room.

"Food should be here any minute." Luke said, looking up from his phone.

"I'm not really hungry." I said bluntly,

"Well you need to eat just a little, ok?" I nodded and went back to my room.

As I was walking back to my room, someone was knocking on my door.

"Pizza!" Luke called out. I turned around and made my way back to the living room.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Oh no, not now.

"You should leave, like now." Luke said to Matty who was standing at my door.

"Not unless she tells me to," he looks over at me and I turn away, "Alex, why didn't you answer my calls or texts?"

"Just go, please." I said quietly.

"What did I do?"

"She said go." Luke warned.

"Just let me fucking talk to her, would you?" Matt says, walking past Luke to me.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He asks, he tries to take my hand in his, but I jerk away.

"Don't touch me," my voice cracks, "I asked you to leave, would you please go. I don't want to talk to you, ever." I sounded like a little girl who was upset over not getting what she wants.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what I did wrong."

"You fucking tell me. When I was gone for that week, you hooked up with some whore at a party? And you told her you didn't have a girlfriend? Smooth." I yelled. He didn't look surprised at all.

"That- I didn't- it was nothing." He says, rubbing the back of his neck like he does when he's nervous.

"Nothing?" I ask, already crying, "we're nothing, please go."

"Alex," he sighs before walking back out he whispers, "I love you."

Nothing ever changes in my life. Right when I think things are going perfect, everything crumbles. I'm tired of it. I deserve to be happy. I don't deserve this. This isn't living. After Matty left, I went straight to my room and locked the door shut. Luke knew better than to try and talk to me right now. I sat on my bed, contemplating what to do with myself. I sat there crying into my pillow for what seemed to be hours. I was broken. Shattered. Completely shattered.

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* * * * * * I know it was short, I'm sorryyyy. If you're lucky I'll update again before Saturday. But yeah, comment your fave song by The 1975 or anyone in general (: I wanna see what you guys are listening to. I think I want to start off the chapters by quoting some lyrics from the 1975, is that cool or lame?