Robbers // Matty Healy

Chapter 29

// We'll give you one more fight //

I'm only 18, turning 19 in a few months. Just 18. I don't think any typical 18 year old has been through half the shit I have. Maybe it's just me and my high expectations. I obliterate everything good that comes my way, except Matty. He's the only person that stayed, and yet I still managed to fuck things up with him.

Right now, we're on good terms, luckily. It's been a few days since the incident, and he's making progress. We both are. I've realized it won't ever be the same. We can't go to just friends. It's all or nothing.

Part of me wants to just break up with Matty so he doesn't have to worry about me. I feel like I'm only weighing him down. I've caused him so much pain and I don't think I could live with myself.

"Hey there," Matty says, knocking me off my trail of thoughts. He came in the living room with nothing but jeans on. He was still wet from the shower he just took. Which was sort of a turn on, but let's not get into that.

"Hey, I think we need to talk." I said, patting the empty seat next to me.

"Yeah, okay," he sits down and smiles at me.

"Matty, I don't know how to go with this, but maybe we should take another break from each other. I don't want this, but I can't see you hurting anymore. I'm only making you feel worse and I can't stand it." I sigh.

"Alex, you're such an idiot," he smiles, "don't you understand that I'm better with you? No one else understands me like you do. I need you."

"How the hell did we end up like this?" I sigh. Matty lays his head on my lap and looks up at me.

"I don't know," he sighs, "I guess we just fucked up somewhere in between."

"I honestly don't think we're going to get through this," I admitted.

"We can try," he says, "that's all we could do right now. Promise me you'll try."

"Promise." I say.

"I love you," he whispers.

"I know." I felt helpless. I don't know how I could try and be in this relationship when I'm the one tearing it down. I honestly don't know how Matty can just say this will work. Just a few months ago we were fun and totally in love, it's the same now, but with way more complications. Complications that I don't think I have the mental capacity to handle.

I'm emotionally drained. I don't even know how I'm supposed on feel right now. I miss seeing Matty smile, and hearing his laugh. Where the hell did it go wrong. Sure, we had small arguments, but who knew it lead up to this. I'm trying to convince myself that everything will be okay, but really who knows. Maybe we aren't good for each other. Maybe this is a toxic relationship. Or I'm being an idiot.

I want this to work. But I don't want to feel like I have to force myself to make things right. I love him. I always will. But if this doesn't work, it's over. Someone was knocking on the door and woke me from my thoughts. Matty looked up at me, head still in my lap, looking at me asking if i was going to answer the door. I got up and made my way over.

"Hey Luke, this really isn't a good time." I said, blocking the door so he would come in.

"You haven't called me back in a while. Is everything okay?"

"It's fine. Everything's fine. Um, I'll call you later okay? Matty's here." I say faintly.

"So you guys are good now?" He asks.

"We're getting there."

"Okay, well I just wanted to check up on you. Call me later, yeah?"

"I will," I say, giving him a hug before closing the door.

"Why didn't you invite him in?" Matty says, as I turn around.

"I didn't want him to come in."

"Does he know I'm here?" He asks. I don't feel like being interrogated right now.

"Yes, Matty, he does. Anything else?" I sigh, "Look, I'm sorry. I just, I don't know."

"Come here, babe." He walks to me and wraps his arms around me, "It's going to be okay." I refrain myself from sobbing into his shoulder and relax my breathing.

"I'm sorry." I say, letting go of him, "I'm a wreck."

"It's okay." He pulls me back into his arms. I don't say anything this time and just embrace him.

When I was little, my mom used to tell me never to fall in love. She used to say things, horrible things, basically saying all love is doomed for disaster. I think it was her way of telling me to be careful who I open up to. She told me stories of boys she thought she was in love with, and how they only wanted to get in her pants. She always said she no longer believed in love and that she's been hurt too many times to even reconsider finding someone else. I used to be scared of opening up to people and falling in love. Now? I'm not scared anymore.

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*okay I'm really sorry I didn't update for like three months. I don't necessarily have an excuse. I just ran out of ideas. So the next chapter will be the last chapter. I'm sorry. I feel like I sort of let you guys down lol. For those asking, there most likely won't be a sequel. If anyone wants me to write any other fanfic, let me know. I'll look into all suggestions. I have one on Luke hemmings right now, I know some readers hate 5sos, i absolutely love them so deal. But for this story, it's technically over. I feel really bad because this story is actually REALLY BAD. haha, I didn't expect anyone to read this, let alone get 90k+ reads. Fucking insane. I wish this would've been better, but oh well. 😁

Okay anyways, hope you enjoyed this short chapter. Love you.