Loved and Lied

Chapter 19

I hope Punk's doing the same for you. I hope Punk's doing the same for you. I hope Punk's doing the same for you. The words from Bryan echoed over and over and over again. Fuuuuckkkkk, can all this shit stop for like 5 minutes so I can get my shit together and be happy? Huh?! "Jamie" came Punk's soft voice from in front of me. I looked up at him, startled. I never heard him come in the room. "You okay? I said 'hey, babe' like 5 times and you didn't respond" he explained. Really?

"Sorry, I'm kinda out of it tonight" I said. It's not a lie, but it's not really the truth either...

"Well, are you gonna come out and watch Bryan and me or you gonna chill back here until we're done?" He asked grabbing his hooded zip up sweatshirt from his bag.

"I'll stay here" I responded in a slightly uninterested tone as I pulled out my phone to distract myself from him. He was gonna leave the room but stopped in his tracks and came back and dropped onto the couch in front of me. "Jamie..."

"Punk, go"

"Not until you tell me what's up!"

"Don't worry about it"

"But I have to worry about it! I thought we were doing so well-" I have him a look "I thought we were moving forward" he corrected.

"Look, I just need to clear my mind, go out to your match, I'll see you later" I assured him. He looked as though he wasn't buying it, but he was gonna leave it anyways. He gave me a quick peck on the lips and walked for the door. "Love you" he said. I wanted to say it too but I couldn't, do I love him? He saw how conflicted I was getting and didn't push it. He walked out if the room and left me to my thoughts.

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There was a time where I questioned nothing between us. There was a time where I knew I was in love with Punk and nobody could change that no matter what they said or did. There was a time where I trusted Punk like he was literally myself, we knew everything about each other, we knew how to make the other smile or laugh or bring them out of a bad mood... I don't know him anymore. He is not the CM Punk I met my first day in WWE... He's not the sweet guy that would do anything on this fucking Earth for me... He's not that guy that would never hurt me. The door opened to reveal Punk and Bryan walking in with smiles on their faces after whatever that could have done out there. I was in here with my thoughts, I wasn't watching. I stood up and headed for the door. "I'll wait outside Punk" I said. Bryan walked into the bathroom and Punk then pinned me back against the wall. "You know you could stay in here... Bryan won't be long" he said suggestively. I gulped heavily, weighing my options.

"I-I'll just wait o-outside" I answered shakily. Punk leaned back against the door and looked at me, losing all interest in what was previously suggested, he set that up. "Alright, now I know you're mad at me" he said nonchalantly as his amazing green eyes trained on mine "What'd I do?"

God I hate it when he puts me on the spot. "Nothing, Punk, I-I'm just really not in the mood for that right now" I said stumbling over my words a bit.

"Babe, we both know that's not true, something happened"

"Punk can you-"

"Who?"

I looked at him questioningly. "Who what?" I asked him.

"Who did you talk to that you're out of it like this?" he answered. The door to the bathroom opened to reveal Bryan in a tight black T-shirt and jeans. I didn't have to say anything because Punk knew it was Bryan. He immediately walked over to Bryan and shoved him back against the wall. "What'd you say to her?" Punk asked him through gritted teeth. Bryan looked at him weirdly before he looked over at me and I saw realization kick in. "Punk just calm do-" punk shoved him back again.

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!"

"You're scaring her..."

Punk looked back at me and saw the scared look I had on my face, I hated seeing him like this... only because it made me think like he was hiding something new from me. He let go of Bryan and took a few steps back. "I'm sorry..." Punk mumbled. Bryan gave a nod and walked out of the room past me. Punk couldn't look over at me. "I'm gonna go take a shower" he told me just above a whisper before disappearing into the bathroom. I sat down on the couch and folded my hands. I need to loosen up around him, every time I hear something I freak out and become distant, and it drives him crazy... no matter how sexy him going crazy can be sometimes, I still hate seeing him like that. I felt a pair of lips press against the edge of my jaw right under my ear and I smiled. I turned to see Punk in only a towel, a light smile on his face. "I'm sorry" he said, his voice a bit scratchy in it's low tone.

"It's fine" I answered, a smile coming onto my face. His smile grew as he came around the couch and sat down next to me, instantly connecting his lips to mine. I cupped his cheeks with my hands and he pulled me onto his lap, straddling his waist. His arms were wrapped tightly around my waist. My hands trailed down from his cheeks to his neck and his muscular shoulders. His fingers snuck under the end of my shirt and started tracing intricate patterns on my lower back. I couldn't help but moan softly against his lips, such a small touches ignites such huge sparks. He chuckled and moved his lips from mine for a moment. "You just can't take me can you?" he joked, moving his hands over to the sides of my waist. I smiled and lightly giggled, shaking my head. "Nope, you're too much Punky" I confessed, tracing along his tattoos on his bare chest. "You're so incredible" the truthful words slipped out of my mouth before I could think about stopping them.

"If only that were true" he said sadly, averting eye contact with me. I tilted his head to look at me. "You are" I assured him.

"Then why do I keep fucking up? Why do I keep making you miserable? God, Jamie, I... I wanna make you happy... I wanna see you smile all the time, but all I've caused you was fucking tears... I'm so sorry" his voice cracked in the end and he hugged me tightly, biting his face in my shoulder. I leaned my chin against his shoulder and held him, I feel like he's actually come to a breaking point with guilt. "Look, I'll admit, you were the cause of some of the worst things to happen to me in recent memory... But I'd be lying if I said you also weren't responsible for some of the best as well" I told him, rubbing his back lightly. "Bad things are gonna happen... It really depends on if we can get past them or not..."

"But you should never have forgiven me for what I did, for any of the shit I did"

"But I did" I said a bit harshly as I pushed him back to look at me. His eyes were bloodshot and tears stained his cheeks. "Punk, for the love of fucking God, I'm in love with you, I've forgiven you for your terrible mistakes and you just need to not do anything like that again" I let out a shuddering breath and dropped my head "Just don't do it again" I bit my lips and squeezed my eyes shut to try and surprises the need to cry. Punk pulled me forward and hugged me tightly yet again, rubbing my back to comfort me as I let the tears start to fall. "I won't be able to take it if you do it again..."