Loved and Lied

Chapter 25

"Babe, you're gonna be fine, okay?" Punk assured me, taking my hands in his. We were in the doctor's office currently and I told my doctor about the voice, the flashback, the almost fainting... I had to take some type of test thing... so I'm just sure that's it's gonna come back telling me that I'm not psychologically stable... Not like it would surprise me if that happened. "I'm not so sure about that Punk" I answered, a sad smile coming onto my normally elated features.

"Look, crazy or not, you're still my girl, and I'll still love you" he told me, his cute ass smile coming across his lips.

"Okay" I responded, an almost normal smile coming on now. The door opened behind him and we both turned to the door and saw Dr. Emma Mitchell walk in. {No particular reason for the name, just thought y'all should know what gender Jamie's doctor was... and being completely clear, it's a Woman doctor}. Her and Punk made eye contact for a brief moment before Punk moved away from me and Dr. Mitchell walked over, looking at her clipboard. "Well Jamie, nothing seems out of the ordinary on your tests, has anything happened lately that's troubling you that you think could be causing these voices and such?" She asked looking up at me, her eyebrows furrowed slightly. I took a quick glance at Punk and I could only see sadness and regret in his perfect green eyes before I looked back at her. "Maybe, but I've kinda moved passed it" I told her truthfully.

"Have you confronted the problem?"

"Not specifically no..."

"Jamie, I really think if you want these voices and things to stop you need to revisit this problem and deal with it head on, that's all I can really tell you, because everything here is fine"

I nodded and got down off the examination table, thanking her on the way out. I walked silently down the hallway from the office into the elevator to leave the office, I had a knot in my stomach... I didn't wanna go back to that problem. Punk caught up to me as the elevator opened and we both stepped into the empty cart. "You okay Jaim?" Punk asked as soon as the door closed.

"Just about, yeah" I responded, crossing my arms and looking down at the floor as I leaned back against the elevator wall. There was a moment of silence before Punk broke it.

"Do you really think I could be the cause of this?"

"Honestly?" He nodded "I wouldn't doubt it, it is your voice I've been hearing, and you've broken my heart more than once in the course of a year, that's not easy to deal with just so you know"

"I wouldn't think it was"

"Look, I don't want to go back to any of this, but I'm gonna have to if I have any chance of getting myself mentally stable again"

"But the doctor said-"

"I DON'T CARE WHAT DR. MITCHELL SAID! I don't care what she or her damn tests said... I know that I'm not okay, and I know I need to try something to help myself"

"... If you think it's gonna help"

"I'm not thinking it's gonna help, I'm hoping it's gonna help"

Why is this elevator taking forever to go from floor 5 to the lobby? Right after that thought the door opened and we both walked out in silence to the car, this was gonna be a very long afternoon.

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I laid sprawled across the couch in out house and just though how I was really even gonna bring up this conversation. I honestly don't want to do it in fear of not resolving things but only making them worse and therefore making me literally insane. The couch cushions shifted slightly and I looked over towards my feet to see Punk sitting there, a cautious and sad smile on his face. He placed a hot chocolate on the table in front of me and I offer back a half smile, hating the whole situation really. "Alex you really don't have to-"

"Wait repeat that sentence" I cut him off when it registered what he called me.

"Okay, Jamie you re-"

"You called me Alex before"

"What? No I di-"

"You said Alex you really don't have to. I heard you, clear as day, I'm not crazy, you called me Alex!" I was now sitting up on the opposite side of the couch from him, hugging my knees up against my chest.

"Jamie... maybe that doctor was wrong, I think you're going insane"

"And who's fault do you think that is Brooks?! Who the fuck do you think made me a paranoid mess?! YOU!! You're the one who started all this shit when you cheated on me with Lita!! Why would you even do that?!" Well that was unplanned. He was seriously ticked off but was trying to hold it back for my sake ad because of the condition my mind was in right now.

"I... I don't know okay?! I guess it was the thrill of having the greatest person to ever walk into my life completely clueless to my dirty little secret. The fact that I was getting away with it and nobody could stop me. The adrenalin of it all messed with my head Jamie... it got the better of me and I will never forgive myself for that"

"And fucking sleeping with her?"

"I TOLD YOU THAT WASN'T MY FAULT"

"AND WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I BELIEVE YOU?!"

He stopped before he far an answer. He knew I was right, that there was no reason that I should believe him because all he's done with my trust was smash it an throw it away. "There isn't any valid reason I can give you Jaim, except that I an promise you I'll never do it again. I'll keep this promise again Jamie, I'm really trying. That's why I'm always with you, I figure if I don't leave you then I can't screw up again. I don't want to screw up again Jamie, you mean too much to me"

Amy means nothing to me. I thought she did, but she doesn't and I realize that now, I know you're the one who means everything to me... I need you.

The voice was fainter than usual. I sat there for a minute. Okay so Punk and faint Punk voice are in agreement... That's a start, I thought. Punk and I stared at each other for a moment before I let out a deep breath. "You swear?" I asked him. I could see his eyes light up.

"Yes, I swear on my life, I will try with everything I have to not screw up again" he told me sweett, moving over to sit next to me on the couch. He put his left arm around my shoulders and tapped my forged with the opposite hand. "How are your voices, Orton?" He asked me. I made a disgusted sound at his joke.

"Please never compare me to that asshole" I told him and smiled lightly as I tilted my head back to look at him. He chuckled.

"No problem babe" he told me before leaning forward and pressing his lips to mine gently, to which I moved away after a shot bit of the soft contact. He gave me a questioning look and I quickly said I was tired before I got up and went to the bedroom. I honestly was tired... just not to an extent where I needed sleep. I got into the large bed and crawled under the covers and wrapped myself up in the blankets and closed my eyes, trying to find something that was going to send me to sleep. Goodbye my little gem... I love you, came the faint voice and I felt small something on my forehead but I couldn't quite figure out what it was. I didn't have time really before I fell asleep thinking about Punk.