Loved and Lied

Chapter 27

Days have been passing me by in what seemed to be mere seconds, but the days were passing by with awkward silences constantly between Punk and I. In all the time I've known him I've either completely loved him or completely hated his guts... but now wasn't one of those times. Punk is keeping from me but he's convinced me that it's for the best I don't know right now. God I want to believe him, and a part of me does, but there's also a nagging feeling of doubt that's along with it too... I just don't know what to do. I've been so quiet around him and I can't pull together any kind of sensible thought, and I'm questioning everything about us. I know that I'm undeniably in love with the man, I truly am and I'm not questioning that at all... What I'm questioning is if he really loves me. I mean, he's told me he does over and over again, but god he's lied so many times about that, going and fucking around with Lita. I know, I know, I've questioned myself before as just went right back into his arms, but I'm so serious right now. He's telling me that it's better this be kept from me when I could quite possibly die in the next few months?! Where the fuck is this coming from?! All I want him to do, just for once in the man's life, is just be honest with me, tell me everything that's going on here, because I just don't get it, I don't get any of it. There was a knock on my hotel bedroom door and my head shot up to look at it. I was currently sitting cross-legged in the center of the bed. "Yeah?" I called out to who was behind the door.

"Jaim, can I come in?" called in Punk. Of course he's the one behind the door.

"Yeah... sure" I responded warily. The door opened slowly to reveal Punk shirtless and in shirts and socks. He must've just gotten back from a run, I thought. He walked over to the bed cautiously and climbed on, sitting cross legged in front of me, a wary smile on his face. "You okay Jaim? You haven't exactly been yourself the past few days" he said, basically not even realizing how stupid the question was that he just asked.

"Gee Punk, I don't know! I'm only being kept from something yet again from the one person in the world who shouldn't be keeping anything from me... Oh yeah, an I could quite possibly DIE in the next few months, so yeah, I'm just peachy" I told him sarcastically. He let out a huge sigh before looking into my agitated glare again.

"Jamie I told you that-"

"You know what? Just stop, okay? Stop. You're telling me that keeping this from me was best, do you really think that?! You're just telling me that so you don't actually have to tell me what's going on! You've ALWAYS pulled shit like that and I'm fucking tired of it Punk, just completely fucking tired of it!" I yelled at him as I got up from the bed and headed for the door.

"Jamie" he called softly from where he sat.

"Fuck off" I responded harshly as I grabbed my suitcases and left the room. I walked out into the hallway and shut the door behind me angrily as I kept going blindly down the hall. I remembered some texts between Cody and I and I do faintly remember him telling me what room he was in. I took out my phone and checked to find that he was on the complete opposite side of the floor from Punk and I, so I just brought my things down the hall and knocked on the door, Cody opening the door within seconds of my knocking. I stood there, the pissed expression I had on softening when I saw Cody's adorable smiling face in front of me. "Hey Code, you mind if I stay here tonight?" I asked him softy and he nodded, moving out of the way to let me walk in.

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Cody and I sat on the couch in the hotel room living room and just watched senseless television for God knows how long. I was sleepily laid on Cody's shoulder as I tried to keep myself awake for the sake of seeing the end of the Haven episode that was currently playing on the TV. Punk honestly takes too much out of me when I argue with him. "You okay Jamie? You've been a little too quiet since you got here, and that's not like you" came Cody's soft voice as his hand rubbed my arm softly. I nodded.

"I'm fine for now, not sure about soon though" I told him honestly.

"Why, what's up?" he asked curiously. Tell him, don't tell him, tell him, don't tell him, tell him... I was having a bit of a war in my mind as of right now weighing wether I should tell him or not. I want to, I really do, but I don't want to scare him or worry him too much. I apparently have a few months to live according to a mister Hunter Helmsley" I ended up settling on telling him.

"What?! Why?!" He asked shocked. I moved myself and sat up so I could look at Cody.

"I don't know honestly. I thought I was completely fine, but apparently not... and nobody will tell me why"

"Not even Punk?"

"Not even Punk"

"Wow... it must be something pretty serious if Punk isn't telling you"

"I know, and it still annoys me that he won't tell me"

"Well, look, you obviously need the rest, so you just go into the bedroom and I'll watch the rest of this... original show... and tell you how it ends in the morning. Okay?"

I thought about it seriously. I think I do need some sleep. "Okay, I'll go get some sleep" I told him and got up from the couch and headed for the second bedroom in the suites and laid down in the bed. I just laid there dating up at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep until a serious wave of tiredness wiped over me. Cody came today, and a lot of other people, but Cody came to tell you about your favorite show, no matter if he likes it or not he always comes and tells you about it. It's no wonder you two get along so well, he cares about you almost as much as I do... but nobody cares about you as much as I do. I need you Jamie... I need you...

My eyes didn't open as I sat up in the bed just holding my head. I let out a shuddering breath and ran my hands through my hair before I opened my eyes and looked around me. What's wrong with me?