Too Many To Love

Not the same...

Well as I stated I currently live in Nebraska. I don't know too many people out here considering, I just moved here not to long ago. Yes, Jayshaun and I are still together, we maintain a long distance relationship since he's in Chicago. I have my homegirl Paige looking out for me back home, keeping an eye out on Jay for me.

At home,

"How you feel about your new school, Imani?" my mother asked.

"It's cool, I guess" I shrug my shoulders.

"Have you made any new friends yet?"

"I mean there's this girl ,Sidney, who I'm cool with, we hang here and there but I wouldn't say shes a friend." I reply.

"She must don't compare to Paige, huh?" She said in sarcasm tone.

"Now you know nobody can compare to Paige, that's homegirl for life." I reply in my Chi-town voice.

She laughs, "Yeah I know how y'all goofballs rock." she adds "See any boys out here, or are you and Jay still holding?"

"Me and Jay still trying but he's still doing the same things, Paige tells me. I don't know how much longer I can put up with that." Jay is stubborn he doesn't listen to anybody and I thought me moving would really make him think that he could change for the better, but I see that didn't work.

My mom starts "Well Imani you know Colen's dad was into all the drug stuff and I didn't like it so I had to cut his ass loose." she continues, "Now his ass sitting behind bars, possibly rotting away for killing somebody over that shit." "Jay has to realize what he has is good and if he doesn't you have to let him go, baby." she says rubbing my hand

I thought about what my mom was saying, and she was actually right. I can't sit around waiting for Jay to change, who knows how long that will take. 

"Your right, mom" I say then give her a big hug. She kissed my forehead then walked into the kitchen to get dinner started.

I walked upstairs to my room just in time to get a text from Paige. I picked up my Galaxy S4 as I read the text which stated,

A1SinceDay1: Imani oml I just seen Jayshaun hugged up with some girl in Mickey D's! Girl I like to cuss his bitch ass out

MyN4LMani: Tf? Jayshaun cheating? goddamn aint been out here for a good month yet and he fucking up. Did you see who the bitch was?

A1SinceDay1: Nah, but I got a gut feeling it was Charity hoeing ass.

MyN4LMani: Charity? Nah man, Jay got life fucked up now. Ima call you when I get out the shower though.

A1SinceDay1: Aite Mani

When Paige said she thought it was Charity, I automatically wanted to kill Jay. Charity is Jay's ex-girlfriend. I immediately had to call Jay, to see if Paige wasn't seeing things. I go through my phone to find Jay number, then pressed call.

Jay answered, and I immediately got straight to the point.

"Who tf was you hugging on at McDonalds Jay!" I shouted.

"What is you talking about, Mani?" he said, sounding warn out.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about, I heard you was hugging all on Charity in McDonalds!" I yelled, "Now is it true or not?"

" I mean I did hug her all we did was eat and talk, thats it." he said.

"Jay, I can't do this no more, we won't working while I was in Chicago and it looks like this long distance thing ain't gone work out either." I continue " as of now, we done... have Charity if you want, it dont matter to me no more."

Jay yells "Imani wtf are you talking about done, I can't lose you. Tf do you me-" I hung up, cutting him off.

I just can't do this anymore, the worrying, the stressing.... I can't do it. As of right now im single and so is Jay. His concerns are no longer my worries.