Visions

Twenty-Four: Letting Her Go

"Calm down, kid!" Zeb said, catching Sabine by the shoulders when she tried to run past him. "Kanan went after Arene."
She looked at him as if he was stupid, and Ezra felt like laughing because of what was coming, even though he felt the same bewilderment as Sabine.
"Umm, where were you today? Plagueis took over Arene's body!"
Zeb shook his head. "She came back. That's what saved your lives!"
Ezra frowned in puzzlement. "But we felt her die...there's no way she..."
He trailed off, not knowing how to finish the sentence. Sabine didn't seem to notice. "Then where is she?"
Zeb's shoulders slumped, and his ears wilted. "She said...she said he was still there, and she couldn't stay. Then she just...ran off."
He looked behind him, presumably in the direction the Twi'lek had run. "Kanan went after her, and we should probably follow, just to make sure he's alright. Now are you two gonna stop arguing with me and come on?"
Ezra shook his head. "Sorry, let's go."
Ezra bent down, retrieving one of Sabine's blasters from the ground near his feet, and held it out to her.
She looked at him for a second, and Ezra could feel her turmoil, before quickly grabbing it from his hand with a curt "thanks". He looked away hastily so she wouldn't see the pain on his features, and connected with his saber, grabbing it from the ground with the Force. Even now, hours later, the pain was fresh.
He didn't know if what he'd decided had been the right thing, didn't understand why he hadn't excepted Luminara's offer. He just knew that he had, and there was no going back to change things anymore. That opportunity had passed.
Sabine quickly located her other blaster, and they started running towards the area Arene had disappeared, Zeb in the lead. While they ran, Ezra tried to squelch his pain by repeating in his head the Jedi Code.

There is no emotion,
There is peace.
There is no ignorance,
There is knowledge.
There is no passion,
There is serenity.
There is no chaos,
There is harmony.
There is no death,
There is The Force.

It did no good. A raw wound is not easily forgotten. Ezra sighed, and looked down at the ground as he ran.
He'd always been running, it seemed. Even as just a thieving street urchin, he was always getting into trouble, and usually, he had to escape from those 'problems' by running. Except that you cannot run from the feelings you hold inside.
Ezra risked a glance at Sabine, but she stared straight ahead, mouth in a firm line, and Ezra could read the anger in her manner.
When she had woken before, when she almost disappeared from his life forever, they had been themselves. She'd been her sassy self, and he'd been...well, Ezra. As if that made any sense. (😏😏)
But it had made him feel as if things...were okay. But they weren't. And they might never be.
They reached a small clearing, and skidded to a halt in shock. There, standing in the middle of the clearing, was Kanan.
~//~
During the run, Sabine caught Ezra glancing at her a few times, and kept her expression an unreadable mask. He'd hurt her, terribly, and she wasn't going to ignore that, just because of a chemical reaction.
She thought back to earlier, when he's held out the gun to her. She'd seen his heart in his sues, and known that the blaster hadn't been just a blaster to him. It'd been a request, a plea, for forgiveness.
She'd understood, but she'd played dumb, and just taken the gun. No promises, no problems.
That had been the philosophy of a pirate she'd met once, and, she had to admit, it held some wisdom. Not that she'd shape her life around that idea.
She'd met the pirate on a supply run, and liked the guy from the start. He's been older, a bit jolly--but not stupidly so--and he'd had this air of joyful confidence that only years of experience could bring. And, to top it off, he was nothing like Hondo.
Sabine smiled slightly. She'd gone on that supply run to get away from all the...well, all the same old things. Routine was nice, but change was also needed a lot. They'd never have run into the pirate if they hadn't have had to detour because Ezra had left the...
Ezra. Why did everything come back to Ezra? Had he really been such a part of her life that long before she realized it?
Sabine shook her head, clearing it of the depressing--let alone infuriating--thoughts that had been flooding her mind just as they entered a clearing. They immediately stopped, however, because Kanan was standing in the middle of the clearing, and he seemed to be holding his stomach, as if in pain.
~//~
"Kanan?" Ezra frowned, and walked forward, to see his master holding his stomach. "Master?"
When Kanan didn't answer, Ezra rushed forward, and pulled Kanan's hands away, fully expecting to find a large lightsaber wound in the middle of his stomach. He looked up at Kanan, and cocked a brow. "Did she kick you?"
Kanan grunted, and shook his head. "You don't understand. You've never been hit by Hera before. You don't understand what kind of pain a Twi'lek is able to inflict with one slight kick to the stomach."
Ezra rolled his eyes, and shoved his master's shoulder. "You let her get away again, because she kicked you in the stomach."
Kanan sighed, before almost imperceptibly shaking his head. Ezra's eyes widened. Kanan leaned closer, and Ezra leaned in as well, fully serious. Kanan spoke in a whisper, confirming Ezra's suspicions that Kanan didn't want the other two to know he'd let her go. "She couldn't stay, and nothing we would say could keep her with us. I'm sorry, Ezra, but this is her choice."
Ezra nodded, and turned back to the others. "We should head back with our report. Plagueis completely destroyed my wristcom somehow in the the whole mess, and I doubt any of yours survived." They all checked, and it seemed the Sith had learned the hard way to leave no avenue open.
They all turned and headed back, but Ezra hung back, still feeling the strange pull he'd sensed in the beginning, the sense that Arene and him were somehow connected.
He stopped, and glanced back, meeting eyes with the small, lithe figure for only a second before she slipped away. He didn't want to let her leave, but he knew in the aching pit of his heart, we all make our own choices.

Trust in your friends, and they'll have reason to trust in you.
~Jedi Proverb