Visions

Eight: Realization

Sabine didn't let any more tears fall. She never cried, hadn't since the academy, but here she was, tearing up just because Ezra had kissed a girl.

Correction, the girl had kissed him. She'd heard what Ezra said in reply, but still.

Why did it matter? She couldn't say. It didn't make sense, even to her.

Ezra looked at her, obviously completely at a loss as to what to do, before sighing and pulling her into a tight hug. "Whatever you're going through, Sabine, we're here for you. I'm here for you. It's okay."

Sabine just nodded against his shoulder, unable to say anything else.
He gave her one last squeeze before pulling away and giving her one of his classic smirks. "Hey, I'll make it better. I'm what makes everything better! How d'you think you guys are still alive?"

Sabine chuckled slightly, and punched him in the arm. "I think we'd be better off without you. I mean, I told Kanan to leave you in your tower on Lothal! But the stubborn guy just wouldn't listen to reason." She mockingly shook her head in disappointment.

Ezra snorted and pushed her head back playfully. "You know I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you. It just...hurts your pride to say it!"

He smirked and walked to the door, but paused with a softer expression on his face than before. "See? You're already better."

He smiled genuinely at her once more before stepping out of her room, and she had to smile in return and shake her head. Ezra always could make her laugh, even when she felt like crying. Sometimes she felt like he was the sunshine of her day.

~//~

Kanan was meditating. He knew that to train someone with the amount of Force potential Ezra had, he needed as much strength as possible. He was drawing that strength from the Force.

He breathed in, deep.

He thought about earlier that day. He'd been too distracted. He hadn't felt the disturbance his padawan had. He hadn't been focused. And they had paid dearly for it by the death of their friends and the loss of important information. At least, Iress had made it sound like it was crucial to the rebel cause, but if ordinary Twi'leks were dramatic, the Talkanas were doubly so.

Last time Iress had reported that they had some 'crucial' information, it had been that the Empire knew Kanan's name. And the Rebellion had already known that.

But still, the Talkanas were friends and freedom fighters, albeit very careful ones. And because of Kanan's negligence, they were dead.

To think what their daughter was feeling right now was just unimaginable. She had lived a fairly normal life until that day, but now, that was all different.

Kanan immersed himself fully into the Force, and began to spill his feelings in a jumbled mess of thoughts.

Meditation

My padawan knew, but I didn't. He told me, but I waved off his concerns.

It's wrong of me to be with Hera. It's been happening way too much. A Jedi should not form attachments. And yet, even my attachments to the rest of the crew are unavoidable. I don't understand how it would be possible to live without them.

Still, attachment leads to fear, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. But I feel as if I can't help it.

Ezra is too strong for me. I'm not enough for him. He needs a better teacher.

We need to find Obi-Wan Kenobi. Maybe he can train Ezra. He'd be a better teacher than me, regardless of what Ezra says.

Sabine's emotions are conflicted. She's beginning to understand something. I can't see what it is. I wish I could help her.

Arene is feeling hurt. I don't know what we're gonna do with her. Sato's probably got a plan. I have a feeling that Twi'lek girl is going to turn out to be more trouble than she's worth.
We must hope that the Force will guide us all.

~//~

Ezra walked to the common room. Zeb wasn't there, which meant he was probably sleeping. Sabine hadn't come out of her cabin yet, Chopper and Hera were in the cockpit, and last he'd seen Kanan he'd been in the cockpit as well.

Ezra didn't know who to talk to, but he needed to get his mind off if Sabine. Seeing her crying had affected him more than he'd ever confess.

It had been like a knife, stabbed and twisted into his heart.

Yes, Ezra cared for them all, but something in the thought that it was Sabine crying, well, made everything different.

Could it have had anything to do with Arene kissing him? I mean, she had been right around the corner. But no, it's not like Sabine and him had anything going.

Ezra sighed and sat down, putting his head on his folded hands, an old habit he'd had since he was little. It kind of told his mind that it was time to relax.

Could it be Sabine had feelings for him? No. Sabine thought of him as a little brother, maybe, but that's it.

Though she had seemed angry when she first saw Arene.

Yeah, but then she'd been totally fine around the Twi'lek.

He was still arguing within himself when a cool hand touched his own, and he opened his eyes to see Arene.

She looked nervous. "I'm...sorry. I did not mean to..."

She trailed of, leaving the end unspoken, and he nodded. "It's okay. It was just...surprising. We'll just forget about it now, okay?"

She smiled slightly and nodded before sitting down across from him. Her hand accidentally activated the Dejarik table, and he smiled slightly and challenged her to a game.

~//~

Sabine started painting. It usually helped her think, and right now was no exception. She had to sort out her feelings.

Just picturing in her mind Ezra kissing Arene made Sabine's heart squeeze painfully. Could her feelings for Ezra have grown into something stronger than just sisterly affection?

Sabine had to snort at that. She'd never had 'sisterly affection' for Ezra. It had been annoyance, tolerance, and now? Could it have become...love?

Sabine dropped her can and covered her face with her hands. She, Sabine Wren, had fallen in love with Ezra Bridger.

And she had realized it too late. She looked up, trying to ignore the ache in her heart, and stared at the painting she had been working on. It was Ezra.

He who surrenders hope, surrenders life.
~Jedi Proverb