If twilight characters texted each other

Alice and Edward

Alice: Why do I see you and Bella sneaking out in the middle of the night tonight?
Edward: ...
Alice: Well?
Edward: Can you keep an eye on Nessie?
Alice: Tell me where you're going first.
Edward: Ugh, fine.
Alice: Well?
Edward: As parents, me and Bella never get time alone. We were just going to go out.
Edward: But, my dear sister won't watch my daughter for a few hours. So, I guess I'll cancel our plans.
Alice: You're an idiot.
Edward: Why do you say that?
Alice: You're obviously going either way. You really aren't that worried because Nessie will be asleep. You're just sending me on a guilt trip for no reason!
Edward: But you'll watch her, right?
Alice: Ugh, fine. I'll watch Nessie.
Edward: Thanks bye.