If twilight characters texted each other

Who are you?

Fourth wall is momentarily broken, and being the Fangirl I am, I take advantage of this.

Me: EDWARD!!!
Edward: Uhm...
Me: Edward?!?
Edward: Y- Who- Yeah?
Me: What are you gonna be for Halloween Edward?!?
Edward: Cedric Diggory.
Me: HECK YEAH!
Me: FIVE HUNDRED POINTS TO HUFFLEPUFF!
Edward: Well... uh... This was nice, but, ya know, I gotta go now...
*Edward laughs nervously, slowly backing away.
Me: NO! Please don't go!
Edward: Heh... Uhm, I have a college class I have to go to...
Me: Don't lie to me. We both know you never advance to college.
Edward: I changed my mind? Heh?
Me: LIAR!
Edward: Do you want me to be honest.
Me: Of course.
Edward: You freak me out!
Me: I devoted a book, drawing, and a million daydreams to you.
Edward: Sorry?
Me: Sorry won't cut it.
Edward: What do you want from me?
Me: I dunno. How about a signed copy of 'Twilight'?
Edward: Uh... Sure.
*Signs book
Me: (T•T) *cries tears of joy
Edward: *pulls out phone
911? Yeah, mental breakdown case on Hogwarts DR. Yup... okay, thank you.