If twilight characters texted each other

Batman and Edward

Batman: When you go into the sunlight you... glitter? *Tries not to laugh
Edward: *Desperately* Well... yeah. Isn't that what vampires do?
Batman: No... At least I don't.
Me: *Interrupts* Wait, Batman, you have abs, a sob story, you're devilishly handsome, mysterious, a super hero, huge muscles, and you're a vampire!?!
Batman: Yeah.
Me: AHHHHHH! FORGET YOU, EDWARD! BATMAN'S MY BAE NOW!
Batman: Uh...
Edward: *pumps fist in the air* FINALLY!
Batman: Wait, what?
Me: EDWARD, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?
Edward: YOU'VE BEEN STALKING ME FOR YEARS, AND NOW, FINALLY, YOU'RE GOING TO STALK SOMEONE ELSE!!!
Me: SCREW. YOU.
Batman: WHAT IS GOING ON? SOME ONE EXPLAIN, PLEASE!
Me: C'MON BATMAN. WE'RE GOING TO GO HAVE AN AWESOME LIFE, WITHOUT EDWARD.
Bella: What the...
Alice: Saw it coming.
Me: Nice one, Alice!
Alice: Heh, I like making puns.
Me: Will you come live with Batman and I, Alice?
Alice: Can Jasper come?
Me: Second thought, just come visit me.
Alice: Okay.
Me: C'MON BATMAN!
*Drags Batman to Hogwarts, where we live happily ever after.