If twilight characters texted each other

Edward and Mike

Mike: Leave Bella alone, you perverted creep!
Edward: Excuse me?
Mike: You just won't get your dirty hands off her.
Edward: Um, Mike, I'm confused.
Mike: I LIKED HER FIRST!
Edward: But I loved her first.
Mike: NO YOU DIDN'T! LIAR!
Edward: Mike, I love Bella. I'm married to Bella. Please calm down.
Mike: No. You're a perverted creep who didn't give a crap about Bella until a bunch of other guys shoved the fact that she's amazing down your throat.
Edward: That is not true.
Mike: YES.
Mike: IT.
Mike: IS.
Edward: Mike, please stop.
Mike: Why? Are you worried Bella is going to realize she doesn't love you? That she really loves someone else?
Edward: No. But this is really, frustratingly, annoying.
Mike: Oh, so now you think that you're better than everyone else.
Edward: No, I just don't think my wife will leave me.
Mike: Oh, really?
Edward: That's it.
Edward has blocked Mike.
Edward has left the chat.