Again

Untitled Part 18

Levi's POV

"Levi?"

I looked to see Eren looking at me with concern and worry.

The memories stopped on their own as I comprehend that Eren was still looking at me, his teal eyes were staring straight into my silver ones. I must of doze off while he was talking to me or maybe it was I who was talking. How long did I zone out for? It was a sad memory that had to come back. I didn't even hear what he said until he repeated himself.

"What happened when I left?" Eren asked with full concern. Wondering if I was fully there with him now.

"I was heartbroken. Mikasa and Armin were upset the most. They found your body washed ashore in the early morning, thinking it was some animal attack that no one knew about."

"Oh..."

"All of my feelings that I had left with you. I think I grew into a depression or something, that part was hazy to me. I never experienced anything like that before you left. Nor did I ever found love afterwards. I would slit my wrists and thighs but not too much to cause any attention with the others. Hanji eventually found out even though I think she knew from that day on. It even carried on to this reality as I couldn't sleep. I grew insomnia as I often had nightmares about when I was in the Survey Corps and how they might try to drag me back in. I always had it but it just got worst when you left and again when I left the Survey Corps."

"I'm so sorry Levi. I feel like this is all my fault again. I'm just causing you all this pain."

I turn to see that Eren was looking down at his clenched fists. He was upset about the information that I gave to him, I would be too if I were told the same thing. I would never want to be the cause of anything that could of harm him. But a part of me knew that I did. His eyes started to tear up, that was not my intention at all.

"I don't blame you," I said as I rest my hand on his shoulder.

"How?! It could of kill you.... Oh God please tell me you didn't kill yourself..."

Tears streamed down his face at the thought of me taking my own life like he did before. Even though I thought of it so many times I couldn't bring myself to it. A part of me wanted to lie, to not say a word and drop the subject but I couldn't. I didn't know if that meant I was weak or if there was more in life that God had planned for me. I even begged to be with Eren again, but nothing happened.

"No. I lived a lonely life until I died of natural causes."

"I wish I could take all your pain away..."

"If you did then I wouldn't be me, you wouldn't be you. We might of never even met if it weren't for all of our past experiences," I sighed softly. "I should be apologizing. I helped make the Serum."

"But I don't blame you Levi. It wasn't you that forced me down and inject it into my body."

"I wish I could of stopped them."

"It still would of found a way to happen," Eren smirked slightly to try to lighten the mood but it didn't work.

"The past is set into stone as they say. Pain might break us but it also creates us."

I pulled him in for a hug, feeling his arms wrapping around me tightly. I did the same, making sure this is real and not a dream or a memory that I haven't remembered yet. I heard his sobs being muffled by my shirt. He quiet down not long afterwards as I caressed his hair back to a normal state. We laid like that for a while in each other's arms before eventually falling asleep.

Eren's POV

We slept together that night, not out of lust or love but just to see if this was all really happening. We didn't have sex if that's what you're thinking for with all of this crazy shit that just happened we need some time to collect ourselves. We needed time to adjust to this dilemma. I just got him back after losing him the first time, I don't want to experience it again.