Again

Untitled Part 11

Eren's POV

Levi was in the shower as he wanted to clean himself up from the night before when he fell asleep. The more I think about my mother, the more things that I start to notice that I haven't before. I don't want to think about it but now I have to. I'm going to have to go as far back as I can remember, I'll try at least but who knows. Maybe the trauma will dull out the pain like back then again.

I remember the warm sun on my face and the giant shade from the oak tree, I would always fall asleep though and later Mikasa would have found me as the two of us would go home.

Home, It's been a while since I called anything home. It doesn't even feel like five years ago but it feels like longer. I grew up in a small city that looked more like a town, but our house was far away from civilization. It takes a long walk before entering the city. There was different parts of the city but I mainly knew the parts of our own town.

My father worked at the local clinic which was still a far walk from our house. My mother used to be a waitress but once she had me she became a stay at home mom. It doesn't stop her from working on things around the house. She makes blankets and pillowcases to sell in town just to have the extra money. She would like to make stuff for us in her spare time but I think my mother knew her time was coming to an end. Whenever she thought she was alone she would frown and start to cry. As I started to grow up I never mentioned it, even with my lessons she painted a smile on her face when I showed up.

She taught me everything I know. From reading, to writing, to speaking good enough English and a little of other languages to get by. It was my job to learn the rest. I eventually went to school and learned more, Armin and Mikasa were smarter than I but I was determined. Even when I went to the​ training facility, I remembered her advice and followed them to the end.

I was so innocent back then, she saw the world as a beautiful place. Mikasa on the other hand saw it as a beautiful but merciful place. I get Mikasa, for her parents were killed in front of her and she couldn't do anything. No matter how much I try to comfort her. Now I understand how she feels, for I felt like that too for a while afterwards.

It was just us and I was fine with that. As time went on I grew up to be semi-mature, Armin mature, and Mikasa beautiful and mature. My mother would always tell her how beautiful she was and how handsome Armin and I were. I had different eyes but I always wished that I had her eyes. They were so warm, so bright, and happy when I was around. It wasn't until that day when I saw her real eyes. They were happy, sad, and scared for the first and final time.

One day, I really don't even remember the day since it happened all too fast. She asked the three of us to retrieve something from father's work. Being crazy seventeen year olds we wanted to go out as much as possible, not to be away but to have a sense of freedom. When we were heading out we said our 'byes' and 'see you later' as we normally do, just this time when we were each hugging her goodbye she held longer. She would squeeze us long and protectively until letting us go but not before saying 'I love you'. We tried our best to not get in trouble, tried. Luckily that day was calm as we arrived at the local clinic.

She wanted us to retrieve something, but sadly that was one of the few details that I could not remember. This was a nice clinic compare to his old job at the hospital with all of the rude people with rumors that got him fired. The three of us walked in as we went to his room where it had his name on the door, we knocked a couple of times before opening the unlocked door. It was empty. We thought he was going to be in there but he wasn't, we turned as we saw Hannes lingering in the doorway. We asked him where father was and he told us that he must be out on errands since he hasn't seen him yet, since he himself just got to work. We got whatever it was that we came for and left.