I took the supermarket flowers from the windowsill. I threw the day old tea from the cup, packed up the photo album Matthew had made; memories of a life that's been loved.
'Nick...' Demi says softly as she places her hand on her husband's shoulder.
'I'm okay.' Nick replies quietly and she shakes her head.
'No you're not and that's perfectly understandable.' She says wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head against his back as he leans on the worktop.
'Where are the kids?' He asks.
'Upstairs; they're okay.' She replies.
'I miss her.' He mumbles and she nods her head.
'I know you do and that's okay. You're allowed to miss her and you're allowed to cry, Nick.' She says loosening her grip on him as he turns around to face her; his eyes are full of unshed tears as he stares at her and shakes his head.
'If I start I don't think I'll stop.' He admits and she pulls him closer to her.
'I just don't get it, Dems... She was absolutely fine; the doctors said she was doing better. She was sitting there talking, laughing and then she wasn't.' He says, tears beginning to stream down his cheeks.
'I'm so sorry.' She whispers.
'How do I live without my mom, Dems?' He asks and she bites her bottom lip.
'I don't know, baby. You'll get through it though and I'll be here every step of the way.' She replies.
'Dallas is going to take the kids over the weekend and it'll just be me and you, okay?' She says and he nods his head.
'Okay.' He replies quietly.
_____
'Do you think the kids should be at the funeral?' Nick asks as they both sit up in bed.
'I think Matthew and Amelia should get to make their own decision on whether they want to attend or not but I don't think we should take Owen or Reeva, they're too young.' Demi replies and Nick nods his head.
'Yeah, I guess. Fuck, I've been such a shitty dad not to mention husband...' Nick mumbles and Demi shakes her head.
'No you've not. You're grieving, Nick. The kids are doing okay; Reeva doesn't understand what's going on and the other three know that you're hurting. They're doing okay so don't you worry about them.' She says running her fingers through her hair as his head rests against her chest.
'And you?' He asks.
'I'm doing okay as well. As long as you're okay, I'll be fine.' She replies.
'All I ever wanted to was for her to be proud of me.' He mumbles.
'She was. Nick, your mom was so proud of everything you have achieved.' She says.
'You think?' He asks.
'I know. She was so proud of the person you've become and she will constantly be watching over you all, she's your angel now.' She says softly.
Hallelujah, you were an angel in the shape of my mum. You got to see the person that I have become. Spread your wings and I know that when God took you back, he said Hallelujah you're home.
