Updates aren't going to be regular but while I'm still in hospital I may get a few oneshots written as a way to distract myself. I hope you enjoy this one!
It's a little after 5am when she places her key in the lock and quietly opens the front door. Making her way into the house she sighs as she's instantly hit with so many memories; this was their first family home. This was the place they brought their kids home to. This was the door he carried her over when they first got married. This was their home, built and decorated with so much love.
'Demi...' Dallas says softly pulling her from her thoughts. Glancing up she can't stop the tears that instantly stream down her cheeks as she bites her bottom lip as she clutches his sweatshirt to her chest.
'I'm so sorry, Demi.' Dallas adds as Demi shakes her head.
'It's not fair, Dal... We barely had a chance to get our head around this and now he's gone. He's gone and I'm left all alone.' She sobs as Dallas instantly wraps her arms around her.
'I know it's not fair. What has happened is really fucked up but I promise you're not alone. I know none of us will ever replace or compare to Wilmer but we're all here for you and the kids.' Dallas says.
'You should get some sleep. Do you want me to go upstairs and get some covers? I'll make you a bed on the sofa like I used to when we were little?' Dallas asks running her fingers through Demi's hair.
'N-No... I'll go upstairs to bed.' Demi replies.
'Are you sure? You don't have to do that just yet?' Dallas says and Demi shakes her head.
'H-His pillow still smells like him.' She replies quietly. Dallas kisses her cheek and whispers something which she doesn't quite catch in her ear before Demi slowly makes her way upstairs and into the bedroom.
'As if nothing has changed.' She mumbles glancing around the room. Everything is exactly the way they left it; his pyjama trousers are folded neatly at the bottom of the bed, his favourite jacket flung over the back of the chair at her dressing table. Just twelve hours ago they'd been in here preparing for a movie night with the kids and now everything has changed. Running her hand over his jacket she sighs and opens a drawer on her dressing table before pulling out a little white stick, a little white stick she didn't even get the chance to show him.
'I'm so sorry you'll never meet your daddy.' She whispers running her hand across her still flat stomach. They'd been trying for a fourth child for a while, she longed to give him the son she knew he so badly wanted. Once they received his diagnosis they'd stopped trying because this was a situation neither of them wanted her to be in but they were too late.
_______
'Momma, can we come in?' Six year old Grace asks as she peeks her head around the bedroom door.
'Of course you can, sweetheart.' Demi replies quietly. The door swings open and Grace makes her way into the room followed by three year old Hope.
'Where's daddy?' Hope asks causing Demi to bite her bottom lip.
'Come sit with mommy...' Demi says softly patting the space on the bed beside her. Both girls climb up beside her and she takes a deep breath.
'Remember mommy and daddy told you that daddy was very poorly?' Demi asks reaching up to wipe the tears from her cheeks. She watches both girls nod their heads while staring up at her.
'Well the medicine the doctors were giving daddy just wasn't working anymore. Last night daddy went to heaven.' Demi says softly watching as Grace bites her bottom lip.
'Like nana did?' Grace asks and Demi nods her head.
'Like nana did.' Demi replies quietly.
'It's okay to be upset.' Demi says softly as Grace cuddles into her side with tears streaming down her cheeks.
'Will you go to heaven, mommy?' Hope asks and Demi shakes her head.
'I'm staying right here with you.' Demi replies using her free hand to pull Hope closer to her.
______
'Girls, why don't we go downstairs and get some breakfast? Auntie Maddie is here.' Dallas says making her way into the bedroom with thirteen month old Poppy balanced on her hip and a white envelope in her hand. Grace glances up at Demi who nods her head and forces a smile onto her face.
'I'll be down in a minute.' Demi replies softly. She kisses each of their heads before they climb off the bed and leave the room.
'I found this. I don't know if you want to read it just now or what.' Dallas says passing Demi the envelope.
Demi.
Open when I'm gone.
Taking a deep breath Demi turns the envelope over in her hands a few times before glancing back up at Dallas.
'C-Can I have a minute.' She asks and Dallas nods her head. She keeps Poppy balanced on her hip and quietly leaves the room as Demi rips open the envelope and begins to read the letter inside.
Demi,
If you're reading this I'm gone, aren't I? I didn't want us to end like this, I didn't want us to end at all. You were the love of my life. I loved you more than I've ever loved anyone and I will always love you more than you'll ever know.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I've been forced to leave you so soon. I'm sorry that I never got to give you that fourth child we both longed for. I want nothing more than for you to be happy. I want you to take the girls to all the places we dreamt of taking them, I want you to take them horse riding across the beach and surfing in Australian. Show them the world and never let anything keep you down.
I want you to live your life and if you find someone along the way who makes you happy, who cares for you and loves you the way you deserve don't let thoughts of me keep you from him. Be happy, be loved and know that I am walking beside you every step of the way.
I love you.
Wilmer.
