Another late period. Another test. Another positive. Another hope. Another wish. Another dream. Another baby. Another chance.
'It'll be different this time.' He says wrapping his arms around her waist as she stares down at the test on the kitchen counter.
'Don't say that. You don't know what's going to happen. I could miscarry tomorrow.' She says, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stares down at the test sitting on the counter.
'You could and you could also give birth to our beautiful baby in like 35 weeks. None of us know what's going to happen so let's not write this pregnancy off before anything has even happened.' He replies.
'I used to so look forward to seeing a positive test and now I dread them, Wil... How sad is it that I now dread getting pregnant because it's only ever going to end one way. Maybe I deserve it, maybe it's my punishment for every time I fucked up; you should go find someone who can give you kids.' She says and he shakes his head.
'Don't you dare blame yourself for this, nena... We've had our losses and this pregnancy might result in a loss as well but we will have kids one day.' He replies kissing the top of her head.
'If we lose this baby I don't think I can go through it again.' She says and he shakes his head.
'You don't have to if you don't want to.' He replies. Turning round in his arms she sighs and rests her head against his chest.
'I'm scared.' She admits and he nods his head.
'I know you are but let's just take things one day at a time, okay?' He replies.
'Can we go back to bed for an hour or so? I don't want to face the world just yet.' She says glancing up at him.
'Of course we can.' He replies. Sliding the test to the back of the counter he wraps his arm around her waist and they make the short walk upstairs to their bedroom.
'What do you want to do about our families? Should we tell them so they're there if it happens again or would you rather not tell them and go through it on our own again?' He asks watching Demi climb into bed.
'I don't want to tell anyone.' She says quietly. He gets into bed beside her and moves his arm so she can move closer.
'Okay.' He replies brushing his fingers against her hip as she curls into his side and rests her head against his chest.
'I don't want to go for a scan at six weeks.' She says.
'You don't?' He asks and she shakes her head while glancing up at him.
'There's more chance of finding a heartbeat at seven weeks or later.' She replies and he nods his head.
'Okay. We'll wait until seven weeks.' He says kissing the top of her head.
Another pain. Another cramp. Another bleed. Another tear. Another ache. Another loss. Another miscarriage.
'I'm sorry, nena.' Wilmer says softly as he helps Demi out of the car. Shaking her head she clings onto his arm as he locks the car.
'Let's get you inside.' He adds. They make their way through the front door and he glances around the living room.
'Sofa or bed?' He asks.
'Bed.' She replies quietly. They make their way upstairs and he pulls back the covers so she can get into bed.
'I'll go get you a hot water bottle and some water, okay?' He says kissing her forehead as a single tear falls down her cheek. Rolling onto her side she faces away from him and wraps her arms around her stomach. She'd been expecting to miscarry, it's all she's ever known but nothing could ever prepare you for the heartache each and every miscarriage brings.
'We'll get through this.' Wilmer says climbing into bed beside Demi and placing the hot water bottle against her stomach.
'It doesn't feel like it.' Demi replies quietly.
'I know it doesn't but we will.' He says.
'This is the sixth time, Wil. I don't want to try again.' She whispers and he nods his head.
'Okay, we won't.' He replies kissing the top of her head.
