Why I Deactivated Instagram

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A/N: This is just my personal experience and opinions. This is not a didactic piece of writing, in no way am I suggesting everyone deactivate or in no way am I dissing Instagram- this is just how I felt! Xx
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Truthfully, I had no solid intention of deactivating my Instagram account or joining the social media detox that many people seemed to be embracing. Even though I knew I had developed a mild addiction that was fuelled by mindless scrolling, I didn't plan on taking measures against it.

It really started when I went on holiday in November 2016; a month of total connection with the real world, ironically brought on by disconnection with the cyber one. Travelling Asia with no internet meant that I had to distance myself from social media, but didn't mean I had to embrace it. Yet I did, and that's what surprised me. Within a week I felt liberated and invigorated, like a social burden had been taken away. It was hard at first because I felt like I was missing something that had become a customary part of my routine, but I realised how nugatory social media-namely Instagram- was in my life. In no way was this some morally grounded, sanctimonious decision. It kind of just happened- and I'm freaking happy it did.

Unsurprisingly, it was the best holiday I had. I saw the world to understand, embrace and appreciate it. Things weren't whizzing past and I wasn't heedless to what was happening around me. For once, I lived utterly in the moment. Unadulterated mindfulness.

So, then, returning from my holiday, I had an important decision to make. Having been oblivious to what happened on Instagram for a month, there was an insidious urge to see what I had missed. Yet, I knew if I succumbed I'd lose the control I had been able to take over my life lately. The decision to deactivate over checking my feed was a relatively quick one. I knew it was best for me to embrace this new happiness.

That was 3 months ago. I don't stress about the numbers anymore, or the unfounded need to solidify my self worth based on other people's perceptions. I have escaped the world of sub-consciously (sometimes very consciously) comparing myself to people I don't even know. I can just be me, without the pressure of obligatory posts that need to be cool yet not look like I'm trying too hard. I can enjoy these moments for myself.

Instagram made me unhappy. I only see this retrospectively, having detached myself. Once I pried my eyes away, I saw that I had everything I needed to be happy. I didn't need someone else's perfect hair, or amazing body. I just needed to step away from it all to see that my life was enough... That I am enough.

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