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It was the year I learned the meaning of true happiness. Happiness that arises from within, that is unconditional and independent of external circumstances. It was the year I changed my attitude and decided, consciously, that I would be happy. Alas, happiness is a choice. It does not just happen.
2018 was the year I truly expressed myself. I unearthed another dimension of my being- a carefree, spontaneous, jovial side. I lived with little inhibition, little care for the opinions of others. I let myself say stupid things without fear of judgement.
That is not to say there were no hard times. I saw darkness in people I had valued, held in high esteem. People's true selves were exposed. At times, I got hurt in this process. I lost friends. I even lost a best friend for no reason other than we drifted. Maybe I'm not meant to be okay with that, but I guess I am.
I'm okay with that because I also made new friends. Some of the best friends I have ever had. People who I can laugh with, cry with, become a better person alongside. Friends who I share the craziest memories with. Friends who have seen me at my most embarrassing points.
I survived my final year of high school, experiencing stress levels that I had never felt before. I worked hard for success, for my final results. In the end, it paid off. In the end, hard work pays off.
It was the first year of true adulthood. There is a lot of growth to be had, but I embraced this new phase of my life. There were plenty of times where I felt lost, incapable of being an adult. I still do. But I guess such is life. Time is impenetrable, is it not?
Perhaps, I am proudest of the person I have become. I am stronger than I think, capable of much more than I allow myself to conceive. The values I have held forever- kindness, empathy, forgiveness- I practiced them. When the world around me changed for the worse, I did not. There is much to be proud of, it would seem.
I have hopes for 2019. In my heart I know it will be a year of opportunity and growth, just as this year has been. A year to be become a better person. At the end of the day, that is all we can strive to do. That is enough.
A/N: give 'Cher Monde', my other story, some love if you want to xx
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