I was reading an article the other day, from the Guardian, and it really reminded me of what is important in life. The article was a compilation of the five most common things that dying patients said they regretted the most. Susie Steiner's article is based on the book by Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who spent many years caring for patients in their final weeks of life. Having worked in palliative care for so long, she recorded her observations into a book called 'The Top Five Regrets of the Dying'.
According to Ware, here are the top five regrets of the dying:
1) "I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me"
This rings true for so many of us. We are so afraid of being judged that we end up limiting ourselves. For those who were at their last days, unfulfilled dreams must've been a reminder of all the opportunities that could have been. It's one of those cases where you don't realise what you have until it is gone; for these people, their lack of health made them realise all the things they robbed themselves of because of a fear of what others thought. What people think of you is entirely their problem. You are living this life for yourself, so be who you want to be, because when it comes to down to the last few moments, what some ignorant idiot thought will not matter.
2) "I wish I hadn't worked so hard"
Perhaps this is not something I can relate to at my age, but definitely something I see a lot of established adults potentially regretting in the future. In this day and age, we are constantly planning for the next thing, to then plan for the thing after that. It's a never ending cycle. Why can't we just live in the moment? Surely there is enough in beauty in living for the now. You shouldn't get to a point where work is constantly on your mind, stopping you from concentrating entirely on the moment you are living in, and consequently letting it slip away. While it is important to put great effort into to your work, it is more important to indulge yourself in positivity.
3) "I wish I had the courage to express my feelings."
Putting yourself out there is one of the hardest things you can do. You become vulnerable and exposed; two things no one wants to be. Understandably, most people shy away from these feelings, instead protecting themselves by building a tough resolute and withholding
feelings. A life that is void of emotion is not much of a life at all. The ability to feel is such a human-like characteristic that separates us from many other living species, so naturally it is something we should embrace. That one confession you are so fearful to make might end up being the greatest decision of your life. The greatest risks often reap the greatest rewards. Don't settle for a mediocre existence when you can live a full life. Feelings are not meant to be fought, they are meant to be embraced.
4) "I wish I stayed in touch with my friends."
They often say that friends are the family we choose. If there is someone out there who you miss, don't wait until it is too late. Life is too precious; people can be healthy one day and gone the next. It is easy to get caught up in your own life and let important people
slip away over the years, but anything good in life takes effort and time. People are worth all the effort and time in the world if they matter to you. It's funny; people often condemn this generation as being antisocial and living behind a screen, but what they fail to see is that all that social media stuff is a way to get more "friends" in the hopes to be happier. Even when we aren't around our real friends, we are still trying to get some, because people make us happy. That's the simple truth.
5) "I wish I had let myself be happier."
People don't realise that happiness is a choice that you have to consciously make. It is a choice that you make through your attitudes,
actions and thoughts. If something is making you miserable, you have the power to stop doing it and break the old patterns that weigh you down. You are allowed to be the person you want to be without pretending to others. You may be able to feign happiness for a while,
but when life catches up with you, things fall into perspective. You choose to be happy. Make that choice, and make it today. Approach the world with positivity and take the hurdles in your stride, because to be happy is the hardest yet most rewarding thing you can possibly be.
Everything quoted is from Susie's article, which you can read on:
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying
It is so easy to get caught up and live in a misinformed bubble, but if you never lose sight of what is real, then you can make the most of your time on earth. There is a certain clarity of vision that people get at the end of their lives, and from the 5 regrets above, a lot can be learnt. In many ways, the 5 regrets are a reminder to us of the most important principles that we, with life still in our hands, should try to live by.
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