We Are Of The Reckless Kind

8

Have you ever thought about how someone can just suddenly come into your life and completely change it?

My life was always a complete mess. I never had faith that someone could change it, nor did I have faith in myself. Faith that I, myself, could change my own life.

Then Luke came. I don't know what happened to me. I started opening up more. I started being more sentimental, even. I stated feeling. Again.

I've never felt this way. I don't think it's love. But it's definitely... something.

"What are you thinking about?" Luke asked me.

Right now we're lying on my bed. I you're wondering, my parents are on a business trip. For three days. Cue the applause.

"Nothing really. I've just had a lot on my mind lately."

"Come on. Spill it." Luke said, turning to face me.

"Why do you like me?" I said and instantly regretted my words.

He looked taken aback by my question. "Why would ask that?"

"Because you're the first guy that ever liked me."

"Firstly, I highly doubt that I'm the first guy to ever like you. But maybe I am the first one to have the balls to say it. Secondly, you are the most amazing person I've ever met. And you should never doubt that. You are beautiful, smart, funny and a lot more. You make me a better person. I know we haven't known each other for a long time, but I feel like I've known you forever. You make me happy just by being yourself. And not a lot of people can do that. I have always been a dark and closed off person ever since my parents died. But you have changed that. You have changed me."

"And the one thing I like the most about you is your strength. You have been through all this shit and yet you're still here. And I am so grateful that you haven't had the courage to take your own life because, if I didn't meet you, I would have probably been long gone by now. But thanks to you, I have something to live for. Something to look forward to every day. Something to cherish. You're mine, Hazel Winters. Don't you ever forget that."

I was at a loss for words. Which rarely happened. Did he really mean that? I mean, no one has told me that I'm beautiful besides my mom. And he just basically read out my whole 'Things I want a guy to say to me' book.

"Wow." I said. "Did you rehearse that?"

He laughed. "A couple of times, yes."

"Wow. Oh my God." I stared at the ceiling for a couple of seconds and then turned to him.

"No one has said that to me, you know? Not even my parents."

"Well I hope I'm gonna be the first and the last person to say it."

He connected our lips and the spark, that I have grown all too familiar with, ignited. I know I've never felt this way about a guy before. Well, if you count out book characters. That Augustus Waters guy was pretty lovable.

Love.

It's a strange word, love.

And a stranger feeling too.

I don't know what love is. It is a tabu theme for me. But I feel something towards this boy. Something that the word 'like' can't describe. I look forward to seeing him every day. I look forward to hearing his stupid jokes and laughing with him every day. I look forward to him giving me compliments and even laughing at me when I fall. I look forward to just looking at his perfect self. I look forward to mocking the teacher during English class. I look forward to having a future because of him. He makes me feel special. He makes me feel like I'm the only person in the world.

I know it's cliché but it's what I feel. And now, I think I know what love feels like.

I love him.

I love Luke Hemmings.