We Are Of The Reckless Kind

11

I think about death more than an average person.

Not that I think about killing myself all the time. It's just that I've always wondered "Where do we go after we die?"

At one point in my life I was pretty suicidal. Honestly, I don't know what kept me from doing it. Maybe it was my parents. I think they love me too much to let go. They would never move on if I died.

At that point in my life I was severely bullied. They would literally camp outside my house just so they can kill my mood in the morning. Awful, isn't it? Well, I didn't think I had a choice other than to kill myself. I thought that if I killed myself, it would all disappear.

But then I thought. Would it affect the people around me? Would anyone miss me?

Anyways, back to the topic of death.

Is there really a heaven like the Bible says? Or is there something even more unknown to us? Do we reincarnate into someone else when we die?

Personally, I think the idea of reincarnation is cool. Like, I wish I would die and become a wealthy scandinavian model/actress, but those are just dreams.

Now, heaven. I wish a heaven existed. I do. I wish there was a perfect place where we go when we die, where there's unlimited pizza and video games. I would kill myself without a second thought.

But, for now, I'm sticking to something unknown to us.

"What do you think about that, Hazel?" the English teacher said.

I still haven't remembered his name. I'll have to ask Luke that.

"Um, sorry. I spaced out." I said awkwardly.

"Loser." someone said from the front of the class.

Luke stood up. "What did you say?"

"Luke, sit down." the teacher said.

"No, I won't! If they stop treating her like shit, maybe she'll stop feeling like shit!"

I stood up and left the classroom.

Did he really mean that? I know he wants the best for me but I don't really feel like shit. I don't think I feel like anything. And swearing in front of the teacher wasn't necessary.

"Hazel!" I heard someone yell behind me.

I turned around and Luke was running towards me.

"Look, I don't know if you took that the wrong way..."

I hugged him. I don't know why but I felt like he was gonna have a panic attack and that's the last thing I need right now.

"Why are you hugging me?" he asked.

I sighed. "I don't know, to be honest. But you didn't do anything wrong. You were just standing up for me. You did what any great boyfriend would do." Shit.

Luke smirked. "Boyfriend?"

"Ugh, look, if you don't want me to call you that or if you don't think we're on that level yet then just tell me."

"Oh, it's quite the contrary. I think we're already past that level, girlfriend."

Girlfriend. The word sounded weird coming from his mouth. But it made the butterflies in my stomach erupt.

I have never been called that way before. So it's new and it feels weird. But I'll get used to it, I guess.

A question popped into my mind.

"Luke, are you a virgin?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Well, erm, Hazel. How many guys that you know are broke, look like drug dealers and get laid?"

"Um, zero."

"Bingo! That is the answer to your question."

"So you're seriously a virgin?"

Wow. I was 100% sure he had sex. He looked like the type. He was hot and I thought girls swoon over him.

"Yes. I am seriously a virgin, Hazel Winters. You should make me a monument saying that I have, indeed, never had sex."

"Well, I'm surprised."

"Why is everyone surprised when I tell them that? Do I radiate sex or something?"

"Maybe."

"Well, I guess we're both virgins, huh?"

I laughed. "Why do you think that I'm a virgin?"

"Are you not?"

"Well, do I look like a virgin to you?"

"Yes, pretty much."

"Well aren't you straight forward." I laughed. "Wow, all this sex talk is making me uncomfortable. Let's go back to class."

"Or we could just skip, girlfriend." he said and kissed me.

"Well, aren't you reckless, Luke Hemmings?"

"Hey! The full name is my thing. Don't steal it." he pouted.

"Okay, okay, whatever you say, boyfriend." I smirked.

He took my hand in his and we walked down the hallway to the front door.