Glassy Sky

[ s i x t e e n ]

TW - Self-harm and attempted suicide

I stared at the cut marks in my wrists from the knife. Most of them were old scars that I had reopened with the knife but some were new. The slits all over my arms were just scabs of dried blood at this point. I sighed. "I'm a pathetic human being," I muttered, lying on my bed.

All this week, ever since the breakup, it felt as if all the energy within me had been drained. I've avoided school for a whole week. Kaori's been worried, but I told her that I just haven't been feeling well. Kaori has been dropping off my meals outside my door, which is the only human contact I had the entire week.

I've been nothing but a burden for my parents, my maid, and my friends. I don't deserve the business, my family's unconditional love and support, Kaori's friendship, having friends at all, and any intimate relationships with anybody.

My phone has been vibrating with messages, but I didn't check to see who it was, so I don't know if they're either hate messages from my classmates or texts of concerns from the Host Club, or Haruhi texting me to get the last word in the breakup. At this point, it doesn't matter.

Going over the plan in my head, it finally gave me energy to do something all this week. I looked up from my bed sheets and saw Yuna. She bent down so her head was over my ear. "Go to the bathroom," She whispered.

I crept to my window to see Kaori outside cleaning the pool, which was perfect. I walked down the stairs slowly before reaching the bathroom. I opened the cabinet in there, revealing a plethora of medicines, all for me to use, I selected a random bottle, shaking it to make sure it was full before tossing it in my hand causally as I made my way back to my bedroom and sat down on my bed. Before I did so, I caught a glimpse of myself in my mirror.

I looked absolutely awful at the same time. My face was sunken from not eating enough. I had bags under my eyes despite the fact that I was lying in bed almost all week. My hair was matted and greasy from not showering for a week. "You look hideous," Yuna chastised as I shook my head mindlessly in agreement, my silver angel wing earrings bobbing along with my movement. My heart is so full of emotion from all the sadness and anger I felt yet so empty from being devoid of love and happiness. I forgot what emotions felt like, but at the same time I did.

I glanced down at the bottle, then back at Yuna who was still in my room. I already knew what I had to do.

*~*~*~*~*~

I awkwardly walked to Mayuri's house. It had been a week since that picture of us had been leaked and after a long week of talking things out and taking down posters, the issue was kinda resolved. All that left now was finding out who did it, and I have a feeling that Mayuri knows who did it.

Speaking of Mayuri, the words I said to her repeated inside my head. God, the things I said and did to her...I never meant any of it. Obviously, she meant something else but in my rage I didn't let her speak.

I I rang the doorbell three times and pounded the door. Kaori answered. "Oh, hello Haruhi," She greeted curtly. "I assume you're here for Mayuri?"

"Yeah," I nodded as Kaori let me inside the house. Kaori led me to a closed door and knocked on it gently.

"Mayuri?" She spoke softly. "It's me, Kaori. Haruhi Fujioka is here to visit you." No response. She knocked again, louder. "Mayuri?" She said again, louder. "You have a visitor. Please respond."

Once again, there was silence. Kaori exhaled, frustration in her breath as she opened the door and let both of us in. The blinds were pulled shut and it looked like light haven't touched anything for a while. The only source of light was the open door we came through. There was a figure lying on the bed, covered up by blankets and sheets. Mayuri's back was to us.

Kaori sighed and shook her head as she went over to the bedside and began to shake Mayuri's body. "Miss Mayuri, wake up," She said, her tone harsher, as if she was scolding her. "You have a visitor who is here to see you. Wake up!"

Kaori pulled Mayuri's body to the side so now Mayuri was lying on her back. Her eyes were closed and her mouth slightly open, Underneath the blankets there looked to be a lump that was shaped to be her arm. Kaori lifted the blanket and Mayuri's hand was over her chest and clasping something. Kaori pulled Mayuri's arm out from underneath the sheets and looked what her hand was clasped around.

It was a medication bottle. An empty medication bottle.

It took a bit for the news and the shock to settle in. Kaori dropped Mayuri's arm and we both screamed at the top of our lungs. Kaori flew down the stairs and to the house run at the kitchen and dialed the number for emergency services and through her tears, explained the situation. I stood there in shock of all of this.

Nurses and doctors flooded in and took Mayuri away from us. They put her on a stretcher and carried her out of the house. I followed them outside as they hooked Mayuri up to oxygen machines. I climbed in mindlessly along with Kaori.

We drove off. Mayuri was breathing as the oxygen mask she wore clouded up when she exhaled. Once we arrived at the hospital, they wheeled her in. As we followed her through the waiting room, one of the nurses stopped us. "I'm afraid you can't come in any further," She told us.

"But--" I started.

"Only family is allowed in to see her at this point," The nurse responded.

"But I'm her maid!" Kaori cried.

"I'm terribly sorry," The nurse apologized again as she turned around to leave and check up on Mayuri. Kaori teared up and covered her face with her hands and began to sob loudly. I collapsed onto a nearby chair and stared emptily at my trembling hands, tears dripping from my face and falling onto my quivering hands.