I don't know what's wrong
I can't quite explain it.
The wishes for death
A knife to my mind.
This feeling that's there
It's all a mess.
Within my mind
There I'll hide.
I can't remember when it started
All feelings departed.
The numb it buzzed
It feels like my hearts been burned.
I don't know what to say
I could try to explain all day.
But you still don't understand why I chose to stray.
I'm not sure why
But each time, I'll sigh.
I dream to fly away
Into the sky.
You put me in a dress
But I'm still depressed
No matter how I'm dressed.
I'm always stressed.
Like a doll with a mask
I can hardly complete a task.
No matter how simple
I have no temple.
You say if only I would try
I won't have to be sly.
Every time I smile
I have to hold back the bile.
My smile feels like a lie
The depression says hi.
As my feelings say bye
Even when I try to defy.
They say to follow your dreams
I try and I scream.
But the dreams are made of steam
No matter how much they gleam.
I know I'm not alone
I feel like I'm made of stone.
Blemishes engraved with blades
You can have your opinions
As long as they're within our dominion.
You can't fall out of line
If you do they'll just whine.
Follow the rules
We're forced to go to schools.
I don't want to be another statistic
I'm way too artistic.
The numb it wants to kill
It's drains to where you can't feel.
You're just so numb.
I wanted a smile
I ran for a mile.
But this temple is broken
She doesn't know how to open.
Writing is how I cope
I'm scared to tell my folks.
The way that I feel
Will make them tear.
Society says to be yourself
But only if it fits their standards.
You can dream and have your opinions
As long as they're shaped to their views.
They'll bully you for being happy
Then wonder why you cry.
They say to love yourself
But just not too much or they'll tear you down.
They push you to depression
Then wonder why you hurt yourself.
They'll hate you.
But when you die they'll cry
There are days when I can't do anything
I just want to sit in bed and sleep.
I have no motivation to do anything.
No desire to feel.
And there are days I feel okay
Where I can smile and it be real.
Days I want to do something
When I have energy and depression isn't killing me.
