My Rockstar || (n.j.)

Chapter 20

Later that night, Nick and I went to make sure that Austin was aware of and okay with what we all had just talked about. I could see that Nick was getting uncomfortable.

"So you're alright will going to the hospital for a couple of days?" Nick asked our son, leaning forward in the chair. Austin nodded.

"I need help. I know that I do." I thanked the Lord so many times that day. I was so grateful that at least he was smart enough to understand he needed help instead of refusing it all together.

"Alright. We'll leave you for the night. I love you honey." I stood up to hug him, kissing the side of his head. As I embraced him, I really thought about what would happen if he had completed that attempt. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

"I love you bud." Nick hugged him too and then we went to our own bedroom.

"That was-"

"Emotional, I know. And I could see you getting so uncomfortable, and I'm sorry about that." I climbed into bed, and he got in next to me.

"It's perfectly fine. We needed to talk about it eventually, and they needed to know anyway. I'm glad you did what you did, and I'm so proud of you for staying strong through it." He smiled and I smiled back. That meant a lot to me and he knew it. He smiled at me and kissed my mouth quickly before turning to go on his phone, checking emails and twitter.

"I'm gonna go check on all the kids." I patted his knee and then got off the bed, walking down the hall, the first room being Lexi's.

"Hey mom." My daughter said, not looking up from her iPad.

"I just wanted to say goodnight. You're okay with everything talked about tonight?" I wanted assurance that I hadn't planted any type of idea in their heads. She looked up at me with her bright blue eyes, the ones she had gotten from me.

"It was a good talk. I just hope that Austin gets better. I love you mom." She smiled at me with her perfect teeth and I softly grinned, closing her door. Next was Kane's bedroom.

"Knock knock." I opened the door slowly, seeing him sitting on his bed, strumming at the acoustic guitar on his lap. He looked up once he heard me.

"What's up mom?"

"Just wanted to say goodnight. You're good with everything?"

"Everything's good. I'm just praying for Austin." He was such a good kid. All of my kids truly are amazing, no matter how many times they upset me. I smiled at kissed his forehead.

"That's great, and I am so proud of you honey. See you in the morning." I made my way to my youngest son's room, taking in a breath before going in. Austin was rolled over on the bed, his back to me.

"Hi honey..." I whispered, not too sure if he was really sleeping. After a moment of silence, he rolled over to face me. His eyes seemed to be blank, and he looked so drained. I stepped over cautiously as he let out a deep sigh.

"How're you doing?" I asked, crouching down to get to his eye level. My son looked be dead in the eyes.

"Numb. I'm just numb. But it's alright, I'll be okay." I could tell he was trying to be positive as possible.

"We can get through this. I love you so, so much. I'll wake you up in the morning, alright?" I kissed his forehead a couple times before he slung his arm around me and pulled me in for an awkward hug as he was still laying down. I got up to sit on the bed, pulling him into me, kissing his hair.

"Thanks mom. I love you so much." My son sniveled after our hug, looking at me with the same watery eyes he's had at least once a day for the past week or so.

"Anything for you baby. Sleep tight." I said to him softly, wiping his tears away before leaving the room. I went into Aster's room, seeing her sleeping soundly amongst her pile of stuffed animals. I shut the lamp off and shut the door quietly.

I went into my own room, my husband watching tv. I bit my lip, looking at him and waiting for his eyes to lock with mine.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Nick asked me, pouting in a mocking way. He turned the tv off.

"You're leaving the day after tomorrow. I don't know if I'm ready for that baby." I climbed in bed, getting under the covers.

"You'll be okay. It'll all be fine, and I'll be checking up on you guys. And it's only for three days this time." He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me. I breathed out a sigh of relief, loving the feeling of being in his arms. The safest place I could possibly be.

...