My Rockstar || (n.j.)

Chapter 19

I prepared myself for the emotional conversation I was about to have with all four of my kids. Well, Austin had refused to come and talk with us. Nick and I respected his wishes, saying that if he needed anything at all we'd be in the sun room.

I got changed into sweatpants and an old sweatshirt, throwing my hair into a ponytail. Nick and I made our way downstairs, shutting the french doors of the room and sitting down with all of the kids but one.

"When I was seventeen years old, my step mother had tried to kill me. Honestly, I still have night terrors about it from time to time, and trust me, your father has had to suffer through many of them with me." I brushed it off, chuckling at the many times I had to wake Nick up in the middle of the night and he'd try to cheer me up by getting me to laugh, which he did effortlessly.

"Most of my depression was because of her. It hurts both of us that we have to see your brother go through this without really being able to make it go away except offer him to go to counseling and doctors. My step mother, Helen, hated me. Why, I'll never know. One day, when my dad was working, I decided to try and take a day to just try and be myself and be happy. I was stupid to think Helen would make it so easy on me. I lived on a farm, and before I was born, my dad and mom had put a pond in our backyard. I had spent a lot of my childhood there, but once I was a teenager, all of that stopped." I paused to let them take all of it in. This was getting harder to talk about as I went on, but I stayed strong. They all blinked at me, and Nick intervened.

"Your mother didn't have it nearly as easy as any of us. I never had any of these problems because my parents stayed together and gave me everything I could've wanted. Your mom wants to give you kids everything in the world and wants to make sure you never have to suffer like she did. Like Austin is right now." I was so thankful for him, it was unbelievable.

"Yes. That's why I'm telling you guys this, so you understand why we do, why I do, some of the things I do as a mother. It's so incredibly important to me that you guys all grow up in a stable home unlike I did. On that day, Helen had come up to me and put a knife to my stomach, ready to stab me, and probably kill me if she got the chance." Aster gasped loudly and buried her face into Kane's shirt. He put an arm around his sister. I chuckled, moving to sit on Nick's lap. Lexi shifted on the sofa.

"Lucky for me, I turned around just before she did it, but she ended up cutting the back of my leg, leaving a big scar." I stood up and lifted my pant leg, showing them the scar that stretched from my thigh to right about the back of my knee. I had my tattoo over it now, but you could still see it.

"So, when my dad got home and saw me still a bloody mess, Helen made up a lie. I knew that if I told my dad the truth, he'd just shrug it off saying that his precious wife would never do something like that. She told him I fell on the dock of the pond and cut myself. I had to go and get about seven stitches and it was the most physical pain I'd ever been in to say the least." My tone got softer. It felt so good to get this all off my chest again, but it didn't seem like any of this was sinking in with the kids.

"I'm telling you guys this because....I love you all so much. You're my entire world, and there is evil out there, and I want you aware of it. I would never dream of doing anything to put any of you kids in danger or harm you. What your brother is going through, I can understand it. Your father and I wanted you guys to be aware of it in case he lashes at you or seems really off. He will be seeing a counselor and a doctor, whatever it takes."

The older kids nodded and Aster just looked at Nick and I. We all sat in a comfortable silence before my husband chimed in.

"Austin is going to the hospital tomorrow morning. You will not talk about this to his friends, your friends, anyone. Not even Grandma and Grandpa or your uncles. We will take care of the family end of it. If people ask where he is, just say that he's sick, okay?" Nick raised his eyebrow at the three of them and they all nodded.

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