My Rockstar || (n.j.)

Chapter 11

I stood on the dock of the lake, the summer sun shining in my face. The heat of it hit my cheeks and I felt the most relaxed I have in almost two years. Before I got a chance to get in the water, Helen grabbed my arm. She whipped me around, and I realized she was holding a chef knife. My eyes widened.

"I've had enough of you, you worthless piece of shit." She growled in my face, putting the tip of the knife only a centimeter away from my bare stomach. I gulped and kept my gaze on the metal glistening in the sun. I turned myself around quickly so she didn't get me, but it happened anyway. I felt the knife go across my skin on the back of my leg, and I screamed in pain.

"How dare you!" I screamed, slapping her across the face before I backed myself up on the dock and jumped into the water before she had a chance to cut me again. She was going to kill me, I thought.

I woke up in a sweat, breathing hard. My husband was sound asleep next to me, looking as though he wouldn't wake up until the morning. I decided not to disturb him and so I got up quietly and tip toed my way down to the sun room. I sat on the sofa and tried to calm myself down. I knew that I was having a panic attack, and I couldn't stop to take a deep breath.

I put my face in my hands, heaving in breaths as I began to cry as well. I remember that day like it was yesterday, and it's still as painful as it was that day.

"Calm down Katy. Come on." I told myself, feeling sorry for myself suddenly. Like everything was falling down around me. I leaned against the back of the sofa, wide awake at this point. All the horrible memories came flooding back to me, and I wanted to punch something. Instead of doing any of that, I chose to go out for a drive to clear my head.

I walked down to the basement, got on a pair of Nick's shorts that were thankfully in the dryer, and went back up and got my car keys. As quiet as I could, I slipped out the door and walked to my car, hoping I wouldn't wake anyone. I started the engine and drove out of the gate, turning on the highway. I saw the tattoo parlor with the neon lights shining, and decided to pull over to it. I parked in the parking and stepped onto the pavement, not looking the most presentable in my black t-shirt and my husband's shorts. I put my purse on my shoulder and didn't really care right now.

I waltzed into the tattoo parlor, seeing a couple guys behind the counter. Tattoos covered their arms and one guy had a couple on his face. I went up to the counter, tapping my manicured fingers on the glass.

"Yo. What can we do for you?" The one with face tattoos asked.

"I'd like to get a tattoo. Right now." Both men looked at each other with wide eyes. The one slid a pad of paper in front of me, and after looking it up on the computer they had, I sketched it out.

By the time it was two in the morning, I had the word warrior inked over my scar. I got home after stopping at McDonald's to get myself a shake, and it felt nice to just have some time to myself, with really no one else around. Part of me just hoped that Nick wouldn't be too upset at me, but the other part really didn't care right now.

I pulled into the driveway and parked the car before getting out and quietly going into the house and putting my keys on the rack and setting my purse on the counter. I snuck up to the bedroom, seeing my husband still asleep. I climbed into bed next to him, careful of the new ink on my skin. I quickly fell asleep.

"Katy, Katy wake up." Nick's voice said to me, and I felt his hand shaking my shoulder.

"Hmm...." I groaned, rolling over on my side so I was facing him. I opened my eyes a tiny bit, and saw that he was kind of glaring at me. Then I felt his hand over my fresh tattoo. Oh no.

"Please don't be mad." My eyes opened quickly as I began to beg for forgiveness. I didn't regret the tattoo by any means, and I had been thinking of actually getting it for awhile, but I hadn't discussed it with Nick at all.

"I'm not mad. Do you wanna talk about whatever it was that happened? Clearly you got it last night, most likely late when we were all asleep. I woke up and saw you weren't in bed, but figured you were just going to the bathroom." He shrugged a little and I sat up in bed. I rubbed my tired eyes and yawned.

"I had a night terror last night, which then turned into a panic attack. Nothing was working to calm me down. Instead of getting angry and ending up breaking something, I decided to go out for a drive. I've been wanting to get this tattoo for awhile now, and thought about it when I was out. So I did it." I bit my lip, waiting to see his reaction. He nodded slightly then gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm just glad that you're okay."

...