Trust Me (Minishaw)

Ch. 41

Simon's POV

Shit I fucked up, I realize as soon as I speak that I fucked up, now they are all looking at me, there is no way to save myself now, why did I need to be so stupid, I could have talked my way out off I love him, or I don't want him to be alone, but no I had to say the word boyfriend, there is no way out off it, I have to tell them the truth. 

"Simon, what are you talking about?" Josh asks me again as I just look down to the floor

"Simon, talk to us, what is going on?" Ethan asks as they all walk back over to me, I just stay there looking down at the floor, I don't really want to make eye contact with them right now, that will only make things worse and I don't want to make things worse right now,

"Simon" Josh asks me again and he sits down next to me, putting a hand on my shoulder

"I, just need to see him" I mutter

"Simon, you need to talk to us, what is going on with you and Harry?" Ethan asked

"I love him"

"why are you ignoring him then?" Vikk then asks me in a soft voice and now I look at him

"I was hurt, because we got together when he did not remember anything, he was my boyfriend and then he fainted after the running away thing and yeah, he forgot the hole thing, and that hurt me so much, because now he does not even know that he is with me, or that he is gay, or bi, or whatever" I say and they all just stand there staring at me

"you need to tell him, this is not fair on you, or on him, you need to tell him how you feel" Tobi tells me, and I know he is right

"how do I do that? He is so vulnerable right now, I can't just tell him something like this, I can't tell him about all off this, he will just get upset and it will make him stressed and that is just not what he needs, I want to tell him, I do, but I don't think he can handle that right now" I confess, there is so much going on inside my head and I don't know what to do, everything is so confusing and I don't know if they get it or not, I just feel so confused and hurt by all off this

"Si, he needs to know, you are hurting to" Josh tells me

"he is more important than me" I mutter

"you are both important, and you need to talk to him, maybe you telling him will trigger something in his mind, maybe he needs this" Ethan tells me

"maybe" I say as I just look down at the floor

"now come on, we are not allowed to see him tonight, I will make the nurses call us when he is awake tomorrow morning and you can go and tell him how you are feeling OK?" Josh said as JJ helps me stand up and walks with me to the car

"thanks for not saying anything JJ" I whisper

"I got you bro" JJ smiles back at me as we get in the car and drive home, I don't want to go, but there is just no point staying at the hospital if we can't see him. I need to figure out how I'm going to tell all off this to Harry, and make sure that he does not freak out.