Trust Me (Minishaw)

Ch. 47

Harry's POV

I just can't stop crying, Vikk just holds me as he tries to tell me that I'm going to be fine, I'm not going to be fine, how can I be fine, I just ruined my friendship with Simon, he loves me, and I do love him, just not in that way, or at least I don't think I do, I'm so confused, this is all to much for me.

"Harry you need to calm down"

"I, I, I can't " I choke out

"take deep breaths, just focus on your breathing" Vikk tells me, but I just can't, I can't do it, a nurse takes me hand and gives me something in my I.V, I don't know what she gave me, and right now I just don't care, but I feel my body relaxing and I feel very tired, Vikk just helps me lay down and the last thing I remember is him telling me that I will be OK, and that everything will work it self out.

When I wake up again, Josh is there with me, he is just on his phone so he does not see that I'm awake, I don't want to talk to him because he will want to talk about to hole Simon thing, and I'm just not ready for that talk yet, and to be honest, I don't know when I will be ready. I move a bit to grab my phone from the table and Josh see's

"hey, you are awake" he tells me

"yeah, how long was I out?" I ask, as I still feel a bit tired

"only 4 hours"

"what is the time then?" I ask

"it's just over 4pm, are you hungry, you missed lunch?" he asks me as I just shake my head

"wanna talk about what happened?" he then asks, I knew he would ask sooner or later

"I don't want to talk about it"

"it might do you good"

"I'm not ready to talk about it, I need to think"

"we are all here for you, you know that right"

"do I?" I ask, I know I'm coming off a bit rude

"of course, we are your friends, we just want what is best for you"

"but you are Simon's best friend in the house, you and JJ, I would have thought that you would be on his side"

"we are not picking sides in this, you both need us, for different reasons, but we all do care, for you both"

"I'm still not ready to talk, I just need to think"

"want me to leave you alone?"

"yeah" I say, I don't really want to be alone, but I feel like I need to right now, I need to get my head together, I need to figure this out, does this mean that the dream that I had was real, I dreamt that me and Simon were laying in bed together, was that just a dream or did it actually happen. I can feel my head spinning, my thoughts are going too fast for me to keep up. I need to clear my head for the sleep study tonight, I don't want to do it the 3rd time, I just want to go home, but that will just be so awkward now that I know why Simon has not been talking to me, this will just make everything worse, and my reaction probably did not help at all, I know it did not help, now I'm upset, Simon is upset and I probably managed to offend Josh, I'm such a failure, I ruin everything that I come close to, I can't even sleep right. The doctors ask me if I want to speak to a shrink, and I honesty don't know if that will help me, I beyond that point, I don't think anything will help me now.