Painless➰Sidemen AU✔️

1.2

Berlin- RY X
•Macy's POV•
I walked up the old familiar pathway, winding through cracked faded gravestones and ancient trees. The wind harshly pushing against my skin, making my hair fly around me, my hands clutching a small bunch of Roses to place in the small pots on each side of the gravestone.
My mum's grave was near the back corner, she was one of the last people buried here, a year later they moved to a new grave yard. I always remembered the horses in the meadow behind, in the summer, I would watch them gallop around the daisy and buttercup filled meadow, although at this time of year everything was dying. They gave me a chance to forget about the amount of pain I felt when I talked to Mum. Our bond was as strong as you would expect for a mother to her child. For all the nine short years I knew her she was only kind and always had a smile on her face, sometimes I think it's just my brain blocking out the bad times, refusing to believe that the ever shouted at me or got stressed out at her day job of being a nurse. I knew deep down that my brain kept these thoughts, the memories of me disappointing her or pushing her just a little too far over the edge to where she shouted. I never knew my dad growing up, he wasn't on my birth certificate. I only ever asked once about him as it still stuck with me the time I did. We were doing Father's Day cards in school, I came home and asked her about mine and she simply walked off. I heard her sobbing in her bedroom but I was too scared to go in so I walked outside to play in the garden.
I asked Mary one birthday and she told me that I'd find out when I was older, that's as far as my father ever went for me.
I took a deep breath as I stood in front of the nicely carved piece of marble.
"Hey mummy, thank you for being there for me when I needed you" I smiled, kneeling down to evenly place the flowers in each pot "You're always there for me, aren't you?" I weakly laughed, sitting crossed legs in front of the small mound of soil, there was arrangements of Violets, Daffodils, Snowdrops and a white rose bush all neatly planted there, although the daffodils and snowdrops had long since died and the violets and white roses were wilting; suiting the day perfectly. The sky was a grey tinge with a few specs of water dripping every so often, the wind violent enough to lift you off your feet. I didn't matter how awful the day was, all that mattered was that I could talk with my mum.
"I'm sorry that it's been a while, you've probably saw a lot has happened" I sniffed, half from the cold and half from my emotions. "I just want to be with you" I lightly sobbed, looking down in shame as I did so. There was nothing else to say. I sat in silence, the only sound being the harsh freezing gusts of wind. I studied the newly formed cracks in the stone and felt my phone buzz lightly in my pocket so I lifted it out to see a text from Mary.
'Come home soon, your birthday present is waiting' I sighed and stood up from my crossed legs position in the ground.
"I'll see you later mummy, love you" I whispered as though breaking the silence was wrong. As I followed my footsteps back to the shop corner once more.