Painless➰Sidemen AU✔️

0.8

The Rain- Oh Wonder
•Macy's POV•
The water had me in its trance, calling my name.
Go on you worthless bitch
No cares
Your mum will be there
Violet
Violet
You know you want to
I didn't want this.
It's so easy
All your pain will be gone
They don't need you here
The voices were back. I've had them before. They wanted me to hurt myself and others, they  always knew how to lure me in.
I quickly fumbled out my phone with a shaky hand. Contacts. Ethan. I wanted to say goodbye. To tell him the truth. I pressed the call button and waited anxiously.
"Hey, Macy" Ethan answered on the third ring in a happy voice
"Ethan, the voices are back." My voice was shaky and broken.
"What do you mean, Macy are you okay?" He switched tones turning serious.
"No. Ethan, I need to tell you something before I go" I in a calmer voice. The voice that's eerily calm.
"Where are you going? What's wrong Macy" He was more concerned than before.
"I love you, Ethan. I'm going to be with my mum. Tell the guys I said thanks for saving me. This is for the best" I was scaring myself at this point.
"Macy. Listen to me. It's not your time. I love you too. Where are you?" I could hear him shuffling about and the mumbles of others.
"You'll find out soon enough. I really do love you. More than a friend. Goodbye Ethan" I smiled. My tears had dried. I was happy that I was going to die. That thought brought me peace.
But then something else went through my head. Regret? Guilt? I didn't know but I didn't want to die anymore. So now I was just deeply staring into the murky waters in front of me.
"Sorry miss, are you okay?" I heard the voice of a man behind me
"No really" I sighed, not taking my eyes off the water
"I'm Tom, can we talk for a moment ?" I saw him sit down beside me.
"Sure." I responded emptily.
"Can I ask you why you're sitting by water looking so upset?"
"I don't really feel like living that much anymore." I shrugged, glancing over to see a man, in around the same age as the guys beside me.
"That's rough. But look at it this way. Look at the world around you, you only get that once in your life, to see the beautiful sky and the green grass and feel the warm sun beating on your skin because you don't know where you're going to end up" He finished his speech and it got to me "Besides there's more out there in the world for you than you think" He shrugged
"I don't know, I don't want to pathetically go back to the people I told I was going to die to a while ago" I picked at my fingernails
"I don't think they'll find it pathetic. You didn't really want to go. You wouldn't have called them if you did" He had a smooth voice, a calming one.
"You're right" I sniffled. He got up and held out his hand for me.
"Do you want me to call your friends, tell them that your safe" He warmly smiled, I took his hand and he brought me over to the bench.
"Yeah, please" I wiped away a few tears and brought out my phone, clicking on Ethan's number and handing it to him.
"M-Macy?" I heard Ethan's broken voice from the speaker
"Hi, I'm Tom. I found your friend at the wetlands walk down in Stratford here" He said in a calm voice.
"I-is she o-okay" Ethan barely whispered
"Yeah she's fine, just a bit shaken up, can someone come and get her? I don't think she should be alone right now" Tom sent a warm smile in my direction
"Y-yeah of course, I'll be there in a few" He rushed and hung up.
"Thank you" I murmured, bring my legs up to my chest and putting my face in my hands. Only then noticing how cold and tired I was.
"It's okay, I'm glad that you're alive Macy" His warm voice comforted
"I don't know if I am" I whispered feeling more tears drip out of my eyes.
"You should be." He replied to me
"Okay." I mumbled and we fell into a comfortable silence. I closed my eyes and just listened to the sweet sound of nature. I appreciated it more now. The birds chirping, the river flowing, the warm sun. It made me appreciate life. Before I knew it I was fast asleep.
I opened my eyes and everything was white. The blinding pearly white you see on unrealistic ads. I looked around a bit more and saw my mum.
"Mum!" I cheered out in sobs, she was just how I remembered her. Long blonde hair and piercing blue eyes, I always had her eyes. I ran closer and closer to her but she just stared at me blankly.
"M-mum?" I stood in front of the black face and reached up to touch her.
"Lilac" She smiled softly "Never forget who you are, don't let them change you" And with that, she faded away. Those were the last words she spoke to me, on her deathbed when I was seven. Cancer took her. I watched her slowly fade away in real life.
"Mum!" My knees gave way and I dropped, sobbing on the floor. I was losing her all over again. Dots of red started to fill my vision before everything turned black and I couldn't move. Maybe I finally left. Maybe Tom was just a dream. I could only hope.