Painless➰Sidemen AU✔️

2.5

Young And Menace- Fall Out Boy
•Macy's POV•
Ethan wasn't at his apartment when I got back, he had given me a spare key when I moved in so I could get in after work.
I had packed all of my stuff into a duffle bag. The tears were freely dripping down my face as I packed up pictures that I had taken over the last year and a half.
Stopping at one, it was of all of us in front of Thorpe park. The day I was taken. I took in each of their faces. Josh, Ethan and Simon. My brother, my lover, the one who acted like a mother. All there, all smiling. I couldn't leave them without some kind of clarity, something to tell them that I'd be okay.
I dug around, trying to find a sheet of paper, settling for the back of an envelope.
I didn't know how to start, I didn't know if I wanted to start, I kept getting lost in that photo; wanting to go back to then. Then wasn't good either, but it was less confusing, less fearful.
I'm sorry that I left like this, without proper goodbyes but I need to go. You know I didn't want this, I never wanted any of this.
You didn't seem to want me either Ethan. You've broken me, more than Josh, more than mum, more than my adoptive parents. You hurt more because I let you into my emotions, I gave you the most trust and that's where it all went wrong. I hope Emily can treat you better that me. I hope she doesn't break your heart.
Josh I'm sorry I love you, thanks for not leaving me when you found out.
All of you guys stay safe. Thanks for the most interesting year and a half of my life.
See you around I guess
               Love, Macy
I quickly scribble onto the small piece of paper, tears accidentally smudging the ink in some places.
I took one more long gaze at the picture before stuffing it into my bag and running for my life.
I had changed into a black hoodie and black joggers and wiped off all my smudged makeup.
I went to Tobi's flat and slid under the note under his door.
I walked out of the building and into the street, it was after one in the morning but I didn't care. I flipped up my hood and started to walk into the night.
"Mary? Can I come stay at yours for a while please, I made a mistake." I sobbed to the woman on the other end of the phone.
"And that's how the Sidemen were the most painful thing to ever happen to me." Sighing through teary eyes, I let my pen fall to the table and my head into my hands. It's been a month, a month of contemplating and trying to get my life together. I still have hope in my heart that this is not the end, but for now, it is.