The Dance

Chapter 111 I'm Lost

Jill finished cooking breakfast and made herself a plate. She sat at the table slowing chasing the eggs around and contemplating what she had just done. Two years had passed since he died and her emotions were still raw and hovered too close to the surface. Matt didn't deserve what she did to him. She should have explained everything to him but all she had left of Jake were their memories and a ring.

Jill pushed her chair away from the table and went to her bedroom. From underneath the bed, she pulled out a box. She dusted the top of it off with her hand and slowly removed the lid. She bit her lip trying not to cry as she removed his jacket from the box and raised it to her face. It still held his scent after all this time. From the pocket, she pulled out the little blue box. She hesitated opening it because it represented things that would never come to pass. As long as she held on to those things, she would never move forward.

*******************
Matt arrived in Browntown earlier than expected and not in the kind of mood anyone anticipated. For a guy who had just spent the past three days with his girl, he wasn't smiling.

Lila was anxious to see how his time in Hoonah went. She was convinced Jill was a good match for Matt. She waved to him to stop by the cabin but he just blew past her on his way to the trapper shack. "Looks like trouble in paradise." Bam handed Lily over to Lila. "Let me go. Something tells me he doesn't need a woman's point of view."

Bam trailed after Matt calling after him. "Wait up, bro." Matt continued walking as if he hadn't heard Bam call to him. He nearly ripped the door off the trapper shack slinging his pack across the room. Bam stuck his head partially in the door. "Wanna talk?"

Matt yelled no but Bam knew him better and in a short while he had spilled his guts to his brother. Bam listened without judgement or commentary. When Matt finally took a breath and stopped talking, Bam looked him in the eye and reminded him that love isn't a straight line.

"You saw what Lila and I went through. There are highs and lows in everything that is worth having. If you're truly in it for the right reasons, both of you will find your way back to each another. If not, then she's not the right one for you."

Bam wasn't one for sugarcoating anything. "Glad your home, man. Stop by the house and say hello to the kids and Lila. You know she's not going to leave this alone." Bam gave Matt a shoulder bump and left him alone to think.

******************

Lila pounced on Bam as soon as he returned to their cabin. "Well, what happened?" Bam relayed the story to her and her heart broke for Mattie. She had high hopes for the relationship thinking that their artistic nature would blend well. Lila wished she could pop over to Hoonah and visit with Jill to find out what exactly had taken place between them. Maybe she could make it right between the pair.

***********************
Matt made his obligatory visit to see Lila and the twins. Playing with the Brownies always made him smile. To be little and free of the knowledge of love and loss gave him some comfort. Lila didn't ask him any questions as she could see the sadness he carried in his eyes.

************************
Jill returned to the shop and threw herself into her work. She had a steady flow of local artisans consign their work with her and business started to pick up as more of the cruise ship directors had become familiar with her business. She appreciated the referrals to the tourist trade and she took special care in remembering the cruise directors with special discounts when they came to shop. Jill was also able to add some part time staff to her business.

Weeks had passed and she hadn't heard from Matt. She couldn't put all the blame on him. She didn't make a concerted effort to contact him either. Her daily routine was simple and unchanged. She ate, worked, created, slept and repeated that day in and day out.

******************
Matt had also thrown himself into his work stockpiling milled wood for family projects and for his future business. He rarely went to town with the family and couldn't stand the thought of seeing her and not being able to touch her.

********************
Jill worked on rearranging items in her store. She moved the sculpture she and Matt had created into the front window. It was such a beautiful piece and when she touched it, memories just flooded back to her of their day and night together. She placed a small sign on the piece...not for sale.

As Jill's business continued to grow, she had saved enough money to finally acquire outdoor signage for her business. She had contracted with a local company to create her new signage and dubbed it...Art Gypsy.

*********************
The Integrity had come to town for a weekly run without Matt. Both Bam and Lila had reached their frustration level with Matt's refusal to go to Hoonah and seek out Jill. Time was becoming both their enemies so Bam plotted with Lila to intervene once and only once for the sake of both of them.

The bell on the shop door signaled to Jill a customer had entered the shop. As she rounded the corner to welcome them, Bam stood at the counter. "Hello Jill."

Jill looked around secretly hoping to catch a glimpse of Matt. Bam sensed that was what she was looking for and bluntly said, "He's not here."

"Oh, I just thought...maybe he might have come with you." Bam could sense the disappointment in her voice and eyes.

"I'm glad you stopped by as I have some money for Matt. All his cosigned jewelry has sold. Would you mind giving this envelope to him?" Jill slid an envelope for Matt across the counter.

Bam slid the envelope back to her and said, "Why don't you give it to him yourself? The boat leaves in two hours and I hope you'll be on it." As quickly as he appeared in the shop, he was gone.