Literature

sorry if i

i'm sorry if i
show up after the late bell
or doodle during lectures
i'm sorry if i
hide away how i feel
and throw crumpled sheets
of notebook paper
in the waste basket
from the back of the room
i throw away a lot of things
i'm sorry if i
throw away my talent
i throw away myself
that's just my fucking life
i'm sorry if i
flick through pages of the anthology
in the dark of night
when my mind is
clouded with fears
skimming for sad poems
i crave the comfort of words
i'm sorry if i
let these feelings consume me
i feel like i'm suffocating
and drowning in these sorrows
i'm sorry if i
put on a facade
and pretend to be
someone i'm not
you read me
like a well worn book
but i guess your eyes
can capture
metaphors and allegories
and fake smiles
when you jot
on my papers
see me after class