Literature

blushing knees on wooden floors

*mature content

"Let's go somewhere this summer."

His arms wrap around me, his face nuzzling into the crook of my neck.

"Where Zayn?"

"Anywhere with you."

His words tickle my skin and my heart flips in my chest.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

I can't take it. He's so precious.

"I'm sorry I hurt myself."

"I'm sorry I hurt you. It's all my fault. I swear he just came onto me."

"I just worry." He runs circles into the small of my back, sighing.

"About what babe?"

"That you still have feelings for him."

It's quiet for a moment.

Silence can be deafening.

His hands still and my heart slows down.

"I'll never love anyone the way I love you. I'm not going to lie to you. I still feel something for him but it's different. It isn't what we have."

"What do we have?"

His tongue runs along his bottom lip. He's deep in thought, his eyes gazing off into the distance.

"A connection that I can't put into words."

"You're an English teacher," I joke. "Try."

"You can't teach people how to love. You just do it. And you certainly can't explain it. Sure, you can write a poem or a sappy song but it doesn't capture the way your heart feels."

I close my eyes, his voice soothing my nerves.

the
scars
i left
are
loud
and
clear
maybe
i'll wake
up
tomorrow
and
regret
the pain

"Did you hear me love?"

I shake my head and his fingers brush through my curls.

And he reads me like a book.

"Never be afraid to show me your scars."

My heart shivers.

the roses
are wilted
the violets
are dead
my heart
is beating
beating
but my
wrists
are stained
red

the moon
shattered
and the
stars
tumbled
into the sea
the world
fell apart
right around
me

"What are you thinking about babe?"

"Nothing," I mumble.

"You're beautiful Harry," he whispers. "I love every part of you. Please don't hide from me."

"I won't Zayn."

He hums, his lips vibrating against my skin. His tongue flicks over the fading bite marks on my neck.

"My mum doesn't know. She can't find out. She would be so disappointed. When I cut the first time she lost it. Besides, how do I explain that my teacher saved me? How did you save me?"

"Liam told me to check on you so I called Ed to take over. I said it was an emergency. I freaked until it dawned on me that you gave me your spare key. I've never been so terrified. You were limp and pale and...there was blood everywhere. It felt like half of me was empty and I couldn't breathe. I started hyperventilating. My mind was so hazy and my fingers were trembling so much I'm shocked I was able to dial for help."