Is This Reality

Don't Believe Me Cause I'm Already Dead

I hate this. Sitting on this damn bus because I'm hurt. I'm fine but they are so protective it's annoying. I have been here in spandex and a sports bra because I've been by myself all day. I keep a Slipknot cut off near me. I put it on and got up and ventured to the back lounge where I saw an acoustic and an electric guitar and I smiled to myself.  I picked it up and sat down on the couch in the back lounge and strummed a little bit before figuring out the song I wanted to play, Ben Threw. I love that song and I can play it perfectly on the guitar. I started the song and focused on the strings and the notes that I was hitting perfectly. I was done with the song and I heard an arouse of clapping and howling. I smiled and put the guitar down.

"Dude how talented are you" Phil asked and I smirked and said "I have many tricks up my sleeve" as I leaned back.

"You should play on stage one day with us" Tino said and the guys agreed with him. I shook my head. No way.

"No way. I'm the girl on the side lines and I intend to stay that way" I said and they all huddled together before Austin sat next to me.

"No" I said and he looked at me with those adorable puppy dog eyes that I couldn't resist. He stuck his bottom lip out too and looked at me. "Please" he said so sweetly. I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Fineeee" I dragged and they all cheered in victory.

"I hate all of you" I said and Austin decided to lean against me and try to cuddle with me like a puppy would. I laughed so hard I snorted.

"Okay there big boy, time to get off momma" I said and he got up and they all laughed. We all got up and went to the front of the bus, the front lounge, and saw Alan and his girlfriend sucking faces. I rolled my eyes and went outside to the night air making sure to slam the door. I leaned against the bus door with my eyes screwed shut. I am not going to cry over him. I'm not going to and I refuse too. Someone came outside a minute later and was right in front of me because I could sense it. I knew that smell, it was Austin.

"He isnt worth it" He said to me as he pulled me into a hug. I cried into his chest. I let it all out. Every tear I've been holding in since he hurt me the first time. "I don't understand Austin. He is a dick to me and I can't stand him then he apologies and we have sex. Is he using me? Why does he do this to me? Is this a sick game he is playing? Because I can promise him that I will and can play it a lot better than him" I said as I quit crying . I'm not going to cry over him. I won't. If he wants to play this game then we can play it. I will win. "If he wants to play then let the games begin" I said as I wiped my tears and pulled away from Austin just enough to see his face. Our eyes locked like they always do but not in the romantic way. I don't see him like that and he doesn't see me like that. I kissed his cheek and he kissed my forehead. We stayed like that for a long time. Just enjoying each other's company. Alan's girlfriend walked out of the bus with her hair all messed up and her tank top in her hands. She looked at me and laughed to herself. "Is there a problem" I asked and she looked at me and stood over me since I was sitting down. "Yeah. You. You whore around with everyone on this tour. First your all over my boyfriend and now your all over his best friend. That's pathetic" she said and I jumped up and got in her face, I looked into her eyes with pure hate and said "Your boyfriend came after me. He cheated on you with me and I didn't know he had a girlfriend. Austin is my best friend too by the way. So get the full story before you start assuming shit. Oh and by the way I think we all know who the real whore is here. First your whoring around with Ben and Danny from Asking and then you go to Justin from Sleeping and make your way to Mike from Pierce. Damn, that's sad.. Do you really need that many guys? Someone has daddy issues" I laughed and tripped her to make her fall on her ass and then walked inside with Austin behind me.

"Damn girl. Someone has got some balls" Austin said as he gave me a high five. I smiled and returned the high five and said "Well the bitch needed to be put in her place. She isn't going to tell me who I am and what I do. She is just a nasty skank" and everyone but Alan was confused until I said skank and then they all knew exactly who I was talking about. "Did the skank try to 'tell you how it is' out there" Phil asked and put air quotes around it.

"Yeah and I told her how it was. She isn't going to call me a whore when she is the whore" I said and they all were like 'damn' and I laughed.

"Hey are we all still going to that party on Askings bus tonight" Tino asked and they all were like "hell yeah" and I was excited until I remembered I wasn't allowed to go to parties until I was completely healed up. "I wish I could go boys but I sadly can't. Not allowed. Doctors orders" I said and pouted.

"One party won't hurt you" Phil said and I nodded. Fuck it. I'm gonna get my ass wasted as hell.

"Let me go get dressed" I said and smiled as I made my way to my bunk and grabbed my suitcase and grabbed this red Lacey dress with a big open back. I grabbed that and some dark red heels and went to the bathroom to change and get ready. I went to the bathroom and undressed and slipped the dress on and the heels. I took my straightener out and straightened my hair Then put it into a high ponytail. I did my make up and went full out with it. I did a neutral smokey eye and I put a wing eyeliner on. I put mascara on and did my foundation and then my contour and concealer then setting powder and highlight. I looked at myself and was satisfied but felt like something g was missing. Ah. I put on some blood red matte lipstick on my lips and put a diamond stud into my Medusa. I was finally ready. I went out to my bunk and grabbed my gold handbag and put my phone and some lipstick and mascara in there and some money in case. I was finally ready and walked out to the front lounge area, ignoring the pain shooting through my ribs.

I got so many whistles it made me so proud. I looked at all of them and said "shall we" like I didn't hear them at all. I walked out of the bus with them all behind me. I didn't mind either. We got there and my sister was outside with a drink in hand and she was talking to Kellin about something. She looked really good. She had on some jeans that were ripped in the knees and stuff. With a cropped navy blue shirt that says baby on the pocket and some black sandals. Her hair was in a bun. She looked good.

We all walked in and it was crazy in there. Within just a few minutes everyone was scattered. I went and grabbed a drink when I felt someone grab my ass. I turned around and saw a very wasted Jack Barakat. He smiled and got close and said "some one looks pretty good tonight. How about we go and kick it in one of the bunks" and I rolled my eyes. I got really close to his lips and teased him a bit before whispering in his ear "baby you wish" and getting my drink and walking away. As I was walking in a random direction I saw Alan on the couch with some blonde bitch on his lap giving him a lap dance. "Don't worry about him. Your gorgeous and don't need someone like him" Justin said. I smiled and thanked him. Alan's eyes locked with mine as she was dancing on him. But I was not going to give in that easy. He deserves to feel what I felt. So I turned to Justin and even though I know he is a total man whore I don't care right now. I whispered in his ear " how about after a few drinks and dome dancing we have some real fun" seductively in his ear and he nodded really fast. So I dragged him to get some drinks and them to the dance floor. About an hour later I was pretty tipsy and I really wanted to have some fun.

"How about we go kick it babe. What do you say" I asked him and he dragged me to the bunk area and pinned me up against one of the bunks and ya Know things happened.

I walked back out there with everything looking how I left it. I live the song they were playing so I started dancing to the beat of the song. I grabbed another drink and headed to the dance floor to dance my head off.

The last thing I remember was dancing with Ben and Danny and after that I couldn't tell ya. I guess we will find out in the morning.

A/N: hey guys!!! So Im kinda lost for ideas right now. If you guys have anything that you want to Happen or have any ideas my inbox and comments are open! So let me know!